My Guilt, Pain, Shame
For several years I have committed internet fraud, from withdrawing funds from various bank accounts using online e-check. I've stolen money from people who I don't know and who I inconvenienced. I wish I could apologize to them all personally face to face. I tried to live beyond my means. I've allowed the media to drown me in the dream of being rich and famous and able to have what you want no matter the price that I hurt people while knowing what I was doing was wrong and I continued to do it. The right thing for me to do is to return everything. I don't wanna be a criminal nor do I want my family to suffer from anything that I've done. I'm responsible for my actions and no one else.
I allowed different boys to have my body even though I knew they didn't care for me. I was so lost and sad that I needed something to fill the void I felt. I turned to them over and over again constantly allowing them to hurt me and degrade me while not having any respect for myself along the way.
I've been dishonest to my mother about how and where I get all the things that come to the house in UPS, FedeEx or USPS boxes. I lied to her because I know that she will tell me how wrong I am and that I shouldn't do this or that and she is right. My mother has the purest heart and the most brightest spirit. I want to be like her, but the way I'm carrying on, I just keep disappointing myself. I confess because I'm scared of karma and I'm afraid that everything will come back to haunt me. I just feel so alone, sad, unhappy. Even after I'd got all the gadgets and so forth, they never healed the loneliness, depression that I feel inside. I am truly sorry for any pain that I've caused the people I've lied to and stolen from. Its this moment I vow to never committ online fraud again. Meaning I will not use anymore bank accounts to buy anything! I will not invade the lives of others anymore by ruinin their credit for my selfish gain. From now on I will buy things with my own money. I don't wanna be that person. I'm better than that and I have to start using my potential honestly. I apologize from the bottom of my heart.