I wish my boyfriend would act younger / like a **
I dont even know where to start. im an adult and so he is. but he's a couple years older than me. he's taller than me. i hate being short and younger, i want to be older and taller than him. he uses swear words, has drank alcohol, and actively smokes. its not his fault but it makes me feel unsafe and uncomfortable. i wish he would act small and innocent, and rely on me for things. i want him to be dependent, to call me his big bro, to look at me with cute big puppy dog eyes,,, to act young and innocent. naive, pure. it would make me the happiest guy alive on planet earth. he knows how much this stuff means to me but doesn't act this way. it makes me sad. i can't force him to change how he acts especially bc it wouldnt be genuine, and i'd be manipulative and stuff. it just makes me sad.
i love him so much, i love him more than anything. i dont want anyone else. i cant feel romantic or sexual attraction for anyone else. thats why i want him to act this way because i cant imagine being with anyone else, and i dont want to talk to an ai bot just to feel happy and safe. i keep ending up crying over this. its been almost every day now.
i just dont understand.. doesnt everyone want to be a kid again? if you had a good childhood, you can relive the good stuff, if you had a bad childhood, you can reclaim it and have a good time.. i dont understand.. i hate adults so much.. i wish i never grew up. i was gonna 💀 myself when i turned 18, but i didnt. now im miserable and pining everyday for innocence and purity because i want to feel safe. i just want to feel safe. adults are bad and scary and they always have bad intentions to hurt me and others, this world is impure and dsigusting, i just want to feel safe, i jsut want to feel safe please
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