I desperately need discipline

I need discipline, a very specific kind, and above all, I need discretion. I don't want a relationship, I don't want to roleplay, I don't want to be a baby in diapers, I don't want to be **, I don't want to give you a bj or eat your **, I don't want us to recognize one another on the street, I definitely do not want photos or video taken, etc. You get the idea.

I just need firm discipline on a regular basis, maybe once a week or month. The ideal disciplinarian for me is an older man, a larger man, someone who is firm but caring, who isn't a pushover. He needs to enjoy handing out a firm spanking, or paddling, or using a leather belt. I have to confess I enjoy the humiliation of having my ** pulled down (no, I won't be **) but degradation is not a good thing.

A female disciplinarian might be okay but I'm not looking for a **, nor am I licking anyone's boots. If there is an older woman who firmly believes that some ladies need a good, firm, no-nonsene, maintenance spanking, that is what I need.

It's really quite simple but incredibly difficult to find. I had a perfect relationship quite a few years ago. He respected me but had a "I don't take any sass" outlook and attitude. He could hand out the firm paddlings but still be able to comfort me afterwards. This went on for months, seemingly satisfying to us both. One fine day, he suddenly flipped me over, spread my legs and started licking my **. I was fortunate that he regained control of himself because he was probably twice my size and could have forced more. Even though I knew he regretted it, it was a bridge burned and it ended. Yeah, I regret it ended that way but it had to.

Discipline spankings can be overwhelmingly emotional so the cuddling or aftercare is an important part of it. I understand that the discipline scenario can be arousing for one or both parties but, again, it doesn't mean that I automatically and suddenly want to change our relationship to sexual. It is what it is. You may get a ** and I may have a wet ** but it's just a fact of life that must be accepted but doesn't imply anything else.

Strangely, I happened across a personal of a man who sounded quite promising. He said he was near DC, but when I read his profile he was probably within 20 miles of my house and while it may have been convenient, it totally freaked me out that discretion could be threatened. Oh well.

Whenever I put out a plea like this, there is no shortage of "I'll spank ya baby while you're sucking my **" or they're just full of **, trying to meet and manipulate getting in your pants. I know venting doesn't gain anything but I suppose it helps a little. Indulge me.

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