When I was an 18 year old male I wanted to be r@ped

I didn't want to get hurt to bad but I wanted to get taken and brought somewhere where there were about 30 men waiting for me and to keep me occupied and happy soon I was asked what would make me happy and keep me occupied and I said around the clock access to men with big ** who love to ** boys like me. I have always loved only ** but I forced myself to have ** with women but it wasn't easy for me as I'm not even slightly a lesbian and my had to pinch my ** and call me a ** and ** and tell me how big a sissy i am she said you ** more ** than a prostitute and asked why I love ** so much. I told her when I first sucked a ** I fell in love with its smell then I tasted it and fell in love with that then it sliding in and out of my mouth was such a wonderful feeling that made me feel like a woman all day. Then when I got ** in my mouth it was all over i knew I was a lifelong ** and I was very happy about it. Being a out and proud sissy ** is awesome. One time this guy came to my house with friends they left he stayed and I said you really look like a ** would make you feel much better and he said yeah and my face was in his lap and I was opening his pants and pulling out a monster ** and he said its not too big is it. I said no its beautiful and I sucked him for 15 to 20 minutes my mouth was sore but I refused to stop until my man had ** in my mouth and after he did he said why are your lips still shaped like you are sucking a **. I said did I ** too long im sure it will go away. My family was saying oh she must have sucked one too many ** this time and I said it was only one this time but it took me forever to make him ** then my lips were stuck. I like it it identifies me as a ** who doesn't give up.