i am so scared. i am so ashamed to

i am so scared. i am so ashamed to disclose my deepest, darkest secrets to my family and bf. i couldn't finish college because i was sick for couple of years. i spent my college money on medication. and i was so depressed. i felt that no one would understand me. i was so afraid to tell them back then as i felt i was incompetent and i let people down. i lied to everyone about my illnesses and that i graduated already. i have been keeping this secret for almost 4 years. i always want to go back to school but i don't have money. i want to tell my bf about my past, but he starts showing some rejection as he doesn't like the way i deal with things. ie. hiding and not sharing. low-self esteem etc. i think he doesn't love me at all. we are having a cooling off period. i am so sad and scared. when we started our relationship, i never lie to him about my secrets. i told him that i didn't know how to tell the truth. i am really depressed as he is running out of patient already. i am so scared to lose him as he's my best friend. i am afraid that even i tell him the truth now, he will still walk away from me. what can i do? i want to be understood. i hope he has a heart to listen.

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  • Your confession was so special that I just p***** all over it!

  • Do you have AIDS?

  • I can't imagine your family or boyfriend rejecting you for something that was out of your control. They would both have to be so shallow to hold your past against you. You did't mention what your illness was, but how can you think that they would be that way. I think as part of your healing, you really need to have a sit down with your family and then your boyfried. As far as going back to college, there are plenty of ways to get back into it. Make an appointment with a college counslor and get some advice.

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