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I was waiting impatiently at a red light...
Last month, I was waiting impatiently at a red light. The woman in front of me had space to move up in line, so I honked my horn. She thought I was honking because the light had turned green so she immediately drove straight through the intersection, her car getting totalled by a truck. She didn't make it.
I was never questioned about what happened that night. I'm the only one who knows. Every day, I wonder if the people who walked past me are her grieving parents. Or if the man pushing a stroller in the park was her husband. I can barely stand to look at myself in the mirror because it fogs up with self-hatred, guilt and shame. I'm going to **, and my impatience caused it all.
Good. Hopefully it's been eating at you from the inside since this happened. I only wished it happened to rude self-centered people a lot more often! Kindly die of stage 4 cancer, slowly.
I've read this somewhere before
talk to your priest or pastor. If you don't have one, GET ONE. You need to learn from what you did, but you living the rest of your life like this isn't helping anyone. You're wasting this energy.