I must.

I j*** off in Walmart bathrooms and then I fondle the fruits and veggies without washing my hands. Ever wondered why your apples taste like d***?

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  • Went to see bartender friend for lunch one afternoon. We're just friends, but, she has, unquestioned, the best body I've ever seen. Is a dancer, dance teacher, and fit as h***. Anyway, she tends to keep me there when I visit, so, I end up getting fairly buzzed or wasted. I may not make the comments to her that other guys do as far as her body, what they want to do to her, etc, but that doesn't mean I don't think it.

    She had me at the bar for hours that day, and, while changing a keg, sprayed beer all over her button-down shirt. I couldn't help but watch her and get hard, and have to..take care of it. Went into the men's room, did my self-pleasure (to her), and came out without washing up. Jokingly handled a basket of rolls, which were then served to a guy at the bar. Took me a minute, but, that's when I put two and two together; Dude, I thought..My hands were just full of my own stuff, then on the rolls you're eating... Have fun!

  • If someone buys their produce at Wal-Fart and doesn't even bother washing it, they deserve what they get.

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