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Sadness in my life
Ever since I was around 11. I started having These Suicidial thoughts. I
often Blamed other people For my suicidal problems and thoughts. But now i
realize at the age of 15. It's not there faults. Well it could have been.
But there not the entire blame. I've been feeling alone in this world ever
since i was a little girl. At the age of 3. My father Left my two brothers
and I. you see at the age of 11. I soon started to realize. All girls are
supposed to be there daddys little girl. I despratlly wanted to be one. My
mom I kept telling her in 2006 I wanted to kill my self. During that
summer. it finally struck her. I seriously wanted to kill my self. So she
called the doctor. And the doctor called crisis in New bedford Mass. And i
told my mom Im not going unless i see my grandmother. Everyone in my family
noticed signs of depression in me. I was sleeping late. I wasnt going
anywhere. I wasnt happy. I was crying to much i was swearing/ lying
impulvily. I just said things i didnt mean. At the time I kinda new i was
ready. but couldnt admit it. That was hospitalizon number 1. I probally
stayed out of a hospital till about i was 13. Then I was in 6th grade. And
Everything changed. School sucked. Everyone was making fun of me. Harrasing
me calling me a lesbian. No one was there to help me when my world was
crashing. So i told my pysctrisht i wanted to go back in the hospital so
she put me back in i wasnt happy she digonased me as bipolar which i also
was ** as ** about. :[ I still do this day. wont take meds for
bipolar and still curse impulsivly. i dont know i cant help it. bipolar
medication doesnt work. when i was 13 and a half. i went to 5 mental
hospitals. it was crazy. i stayed out of 7 grade. thats why i didnt talk
about 7 th grade. i probably went for a week. i got tutored for most of the
year. and thats the best i ever did in school. this year was the most worse
yar of my life. Ive been to 2 mental hospitals in less than 2 months what
for, trying to swallow pills cutting and running away. The second time is
worse. i cut my cousin inthe hand causing him 5 stiches. my mother called
dcf on me. and im fianlly back at home 3 weeks later. that night when i cut
my cousin my brother wacked me to the tile floor.
omg that is so sad. i had depression once. it lasted about 6 months, but then i was fine. It started from some dream that i cant remember. I remember thinking what the point of life is and when i couldnt think of anything, i wanted to die. it went away and i am so happy about that. I wiss you luck.
** that Jesus **.
Man up and stop crying over silly things.
Being a teenager **, but it is a quick process and believe it or not, when you're thirty six you'll miss those years.
SO stop wasting them on depression and go have fun. Now.
Ask Jesus to forgive your sins, and ask him to take control of your life - you will be amazed how it will improve