I love him

A little while before 5th grade graduation this year, 2010, a guy (let's call him R in this confession) started chatting with me on MSN. I wasn't really close to him or anything. We were in the same class in second grade and always in the same chinese class...but nothing else, really. We exchanged our crushes...(mine was really stupid, an 9th grade guy that I play basketball with). We liked having "cliff conversations" (we called it that). Usually cliff conversations are discussions about things...that might makes you fall over a "cliff". Then I realized that I'm attached to him. I think about him all day long, at night when I can't sleep, anytime in the day when my mom is giving me a lecture, even when I'm occupied with homework. I told him that, and he said that he felt the same too. And we continued to have "cliff conversations". Then he started saying that he'll miss me when one of us had to go. I actually feel the same! At the middle of July, he told me that he loves me. And...that was the same for me. All was great in July, but when August came, he never came online anymore. I really missed him. I agreed that we won't tell anyone about this and to act normal in school, which means ignoring each other. I can't do it, really. After 1 week of school, I found some excuses to talk to him, but he never really replied. Then the day before yesterday, I left a note in his desk, asking if everything was true. He didn't reply, but he did ask me something, where the chinese office is. I missed him really much and is willing to give anything for him to be like before, or at least talk to me like friends in school. Deep down I know that it's not really possible...but I still hope...

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