Want to be Pregnant

I want to be pregnant so bad. I can't even explain how deeply I want this. Financially we are not in the right place to expand our family so I take the birth control pills every day. Each night when I take it I feel like i'm choking on the tiny pill because I know what it's keeping me from. Every month when I get my period it's just a reminder of what I don't have. Every once in a while I get sick and can't help but thinking the BC didn't work which always leads to disappointment. I wish I could focus on something else- I wish I didn't want this so bad

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