The Crazy Mind of A Teenage Kid

I am a 20 year old , living in the usa, and im loosing all focus with my mind, at night i try to sleep, but images in my head keep racing by, of me crouched over crawling like a demon, and thousands of bodys under me, and im just giggling. If you saw me walking down the sidewalk you would never be able to tell that my mind is at a breaking point. At times i find my self imaging horrific things, things that would drive most people insane. Iv all ways been a little strange since i was a kid, i fill no pain when someone close to me dies, and i want to cry because i don't understand why. Inside i fill like im a demon wanting to break out, and most time i fill like i could snap and loose my self to this demon, and let it have its way with this world. I wrote this not for help but for a reason why, i know all of this i have typed is something that would scare most, but i fill nothing, just emty thoughts floting across a river on tears and blood, was i born from god.... or the devil.

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  • Hey, nobody is from the devil. You are from God. You are unique and very important to the world. I understand you completely, I have strange, horrific, controversial thoughts and my dreams are really terrifying and sick. I feel like nobody else is like me and everyone would think I'm sick and be scared to be with me. It comes and goes for me, though... I'll be like this for a year and then I'll be better for some time. It really bothered me so I'm always trying to find sad movies to watch so I'll cry and feel something. It really depends on what you put into your mind. If you put happy thoughts in, you'll start to think mostly about happy things by default. Your brain gets into habits, too. You aren't 'just born' like that. You put your brain into this habit.

  • What you wrote isn't scary at all... you've described a normal train of thought for me. Except that I don't cry over why I'm like this. I embrace it.

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