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Garbage.
Dear somebody,
I'm that quiet girl everyone thinks is a genius with good grades and a clean vocabulary, that girl who goes to church and loves God, who loves animals and Harry Potter, who doesn't dance or listen to obnoxious music, who has a care-free, easy life and who is a complete square. But I am so human. I don't try to hide anything, I'm just extremely shy, I can't help it. Truth is, I love Jake Gyllenhaal, I struggle with the law of chastity, I hate my dad's wife so deeply, I've been emotionally abused, I have no friends because I went through so much as a kid that I just withdrew from the human race, "no one could understand", and it's so hard to break out of, I'm a thumb-sucker, I get **, alot of the time I want to die, my life is so complicated and confused that I'm sure there's only one man in the whole world who could be my future husband and he's probably not in this country. I'm corrupted. I'm scared. I'm broken. I'm confused. I'm hurt. I lie. I sin. I hate.
I'm one stereo-type on the outside and the complete opposite on the inside.
Nobody knows me.
From your terminology I’m guessing you’re LDS and will write this as if that is the case.
From someone from the same community I want to tell you that it is fine that you’re not perfect. many churches (LDS especially) focus too much on perfection and not sanctification. We can’t be perfect on our own. Even the way we always say gratitude and grateful instead of praise. Gratitude is thanking someone for something they did for you(but maybe could have done yourself). Praise is a completely different attitude. When you praise someone it is acknowledging that they are wonderful and you couldn’t have done it with out them.
We try to do too much on our own. That is not Heavenly Father’s plan. We are supposed to seek his help and the help of others.
You are just fine the way you are. The thing that really helped me through the teen years is I decided I love myself and like myself. Say it to yourself over and over again. Then you won’t put up with people being jerks to you or being emotionally abusive. Stand up for yourself like you would stand up for your best friend.
me 2. thats all i can say. i feel your pain all the way.
You sound like everybody else. "I lie, I sin, I hate." No ** duh. You're just like every other whiny ** on the earth. So don't dwell on it.
...ugh, some people just can't manage to be helpful huh?
some people are too immature to make a constructive comment. The poster is more mature then that guy is.
From what I read, I'd say you simply have a lot to learn. You're not alone, and many, if not most people are like you. We are one thing on the outside, and another on the inside. I agree wholeheartedly with that last comment about a couple books to read. Knowledge is what you need. Don't be too ** yourself, and don't judge yourself on what you think other people are implying. Open your mind to other possibilities. There are so many things yet to learn. But be careful you don't have such an open mind that your brains fall out. Believe that last comment. Read those books.
Dear Nobody,
Welcome to the human race and you are not as unique as you think. Please remember churches are full of sinners- not saints. You are not corrupted- you are rational. From your comments I assume you are a non-Catholic Christian but invite you to read this book: Covenant of Love: Pope John Paul II on Sexuality, Marriage, and Family in the Modern World. ** is not dirty- it is to be celebrated in its proper context. Your feeling ** is natural and it should not torment you. God has given us tools to cope. That book by JPII will point in in that direction. The Sacraments are other tools and gifts that God has given us and Reconcilliation is among them. I'm not saying you need to convert to Catholicism- all I am is saying is there is wisdom in the teachings of the Church. Another book that would inspire you in an appropriate way is: Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light - The Private Writings of the Saint of Calcutta. She was so close to God she felt alone and away from God. Trust me- God is close to you now too. God bless and good luck.