Drug use

I like to get hooked on pain pills then go through withdrawal and while I'm hurting from the withdrawal,put my body through all this weird physical pain like swim or run 2 miles in frigid weather just to see how much it can take.It's like I get off on the pain.I figure it's kind of like getting a tattoo but you're not stuck with something stupid on your arm for the rest of your life.Other than that,I'm fairly normal.. 41,married,3 kids,decent job,(nurse)..make about $60,000/year which is decent money in the South.And no,I don't steal drugs from where I work..unemployment and being broke is not the kind of pain I wanna feel.Plenty of rednecks selling Tabs/norco's/suboxoneetc. for $5 all day long.
Any harm in this you think? What's the psychology of it? Masochism or relieving anxiety via self inflicted pain like cutters??

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