a couple of years ago i met a group of girls and we became close I'll just make up names, there was Kate jade Jess Hayley and Jasmine. it was a big group but it was always Kate jade, Jess Hayley, me and jasmine. for a good year we were always happy had small fights but got over it in a day jasmine always was on my side she was pretty much my best friend. i started growing feeling for her like really bad, she told me she was bi curious, she knew i was bi she asked me a few times but i wouldn't give a straight answer but she knows, shes a smart girl. the school year was ending and her best friend from another school 'Annie' added me and we talked, she started b******* about jasmine so i told jasmine the next day she was so angry but she still didn't take it out on me, it was school holidays when Annie started talking to me again, we became friends but i knew not to get to close to her,
she had another fight with jasmine, and questioned me and i answered without thinking, jasmine stopped talking to me for months my heart was shattered, i became so depressed i sliced myself up, i regret it so much, she moved schools in the holidays, after about five months we texted each other and we texted for a couple of weeks, then she slept over i was so effing happy but i was upset because she had to leave in two days, we got alcohol and we drank it fast so i was pretty drunk, she wasn't best friends with Annie anymore she was best friends with my enemy grace, jasmine told me everything grace said about me, i didn't care but she seemed upset about it, probably because she was drunk, then grace rang jasmine saying she had to choose i layed into my pillow and cried in front of her she hugged me and told me she will never hate me and wiped my tears, then i calmed down and drank more, she started getting really drunk, and kissed just under my lips, i will never forget that, the next morning i looked at her while she slept, shes gorgeous, she went home after the two days, and was acting weird on msn. Annie started talking to me, so i talked to her back, jasmine didn't like that, she said i replaced her, and stopped talking to me for six months, my friend from year 8 steph and i became close and we went to the shops to get a hair cut, jasmine was there with six other people and they all hated steph
she told me that they would bash her if we left the shop, i got annoyed and dragged her out of the shops and we walked off kinda fast, and then one(stacy) of them ran up to us and started having a go at steph and got all in her face, i stood in front of her and stacy started on me, so i pushed her and she went flying, then jasmine got involved and pulled my arm and said ('eff' off ___) (sorry im staying anon) then stacy slapped me in the eye and ran, steph pulled me away from jasmine, but the jasmine ran up towards me in hit me in the head, i didn't feel it because i was more worried about my bleeding eye. we went to leave the shops and the group were outside with another girl i dont know she ran after steph and started hitting her, i pulled her off but then she punched me straight in the mouth, it was all over Facebook, she was proud. but at least 20% of people stopped and realized that jasmine used to be my biffle. and they sent her hate mail.
i was so upset, so i smoked bongs til i feel asleep, now im currently addicted, but i have it under control at the moment. about three months after that fight, we talked, they all said sorry to me, and me and jasmine called each other and started talking again, jasmine and annie started talking aswell, no even a month and jasmine stopped talking to me because annie hacked my account and read personal messages between jasmine and i, and said i told her, i lost it, i went insane. i explained to jasmine 10000 times but she just didn't know who to believe, it hurt that she didnt believe me, annie sent me emails saying im glad jasmine hates you and stuff like that, that mad me more insane, i was actually going to beat her brains in,
about a month ago, i asked jasmine if we could start over but she said that she would be stuck in the middle, i personally think its unfair that's she friends with Annie and not me, but its her choice as much as it kills me inside, we haven't talked in like six months, its killing me inside, i don't know what to do, im sick of being the one that says sorry, etc. i feel so dead knowing i can't talk to her sorry for making this so long, this runs through my head from the minute i wake up til the minute i pass out from crying. p.s i don't think she knows i like her that way.