Ever since i was growing up ive seen my
Ever since i was growing up ive seen my dad drunk and stoned... not intill i became a teenager, im 15 now, did i relise what he was doing and i started hating him. I hated myself more though, and i then again blamed him for that. intill two weeks ago i was clean from drugs and cutting for about 4 months... two weeks ago my dad tried to commit suicide. He didnt eat anything all day and then drank a whole bottle of whiskey, got on his motorcycle and was just gunna "ride away" luckly my neighboor saw him fall in the middle of the street and took him back home... that day when i called him after school his phone was off and i didnt have a way home so i had to walk the 10 miles home... (not that big of a deal) the first thing i see when i walk in the house is my dad throwing up, and thank god he did becasue he probably would have died, the next day, i didnt feel mad or angry like i had all the other times (and there were other times, not of suicide but of being drunk) i didnt feel furstration or anything mean or hurtfull... i felt bad for him and i forgave him... im not a forgiving person and it took a year to forgive him before. but he needed help. My mom was fed up with him and told him that if he doesnt get professional help then she would have to kick him out of the house... She nor I have seen him even try to get help.. and my mom is just waiting to see... before this trajady my dad was 4 months sober FROM ALCOHOL...
I know this is alot to read and i know that you have no idea who i am and prolly dont care... I dont care about any of that... this is personally for me. I need to get this off my chest, im only 15 and my dad has put me throught so much (ive cought him smoking weed before and he begged me not tell my mom, i cut my pain away) Im ready to take any critism that anybody has to offer... i dont care.. so w/e
the only thing tho is now im afriad im going down the path my father is down... and i dont know if i have the power to turn back