Ever since i was growing up ive seen my

Ever since i was growing up ive seen my dad drunk and stoned... not intill i became a teenager, im 15 now, did i relise what he was doing and i started hating him. I hated myself more though, and i then again blamed him for that. intill two weeks ago i was clean from drugs and cutting for about 4 months... two weeks ago my dad tried to commit suicide. He didnt eat anything all day and then drank a whole bottle of whiskey, got on his motorcycle and was just gunna "ride away" luckly my neighboor saw him fall in the middle of the street and took him back home... that day when i called him after school his phone was off and i didnt have a way home so i had to walk the 10 miles home... (not that big of a deal) the first thing i see when i walk in the house is my dad throwing up, and thank god he did becasue he probably would have died, the next day, i didnt feel mad or angry like i had all the other times (and there were other times, not of suicide but of being drunk) i didnt feel furstration or anything mean or hurtfull... i felt bad for him and i forgave him... im not a forgiving person and it took a year to forgive him before. but he needed help. My mom was fed up with him and told him that if he doesnt get professional help then she would have to kick him out of the house... She nor I have seen him even try to get help.. and my mom is just waiting to see... before this trajady my dad was 4 months sober FROM ALCOHOL...

I know this is alot to read and i know that you have no idea who i am and prolly dont care... I dont care about any of that... this is personally for me. I need to get this off my chest, im only 15 and my dad has put me throught so much (ive cought him smoking weed before and he begged me not tell my mom, i cut my pain away) Im ready to take any critism that anybody has to offer... i dont care.. so w/e

the only thing tho is now im afriad im going down the path my father is down... and i dont know if i have the power to turn back

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  • Why is what your lame dad do matter to you. Get on with your life.

  • hmmm, i wonder why this is so hard for you ? what are you thinking when your dad drinks as he does , what is going on with him , have you ever tried to love your dad or do you just see his drinking as a bad thing , why does he drink , why are you hurt by this? i think the warining is if you see him using it to cover up pains , you will go down the same road once you get among people that do it recreationally , then you will start to use it to be someone you are not ....i say watch yourself amd maybe get some help in dealing with this because i feel you wil go down the same path , i feel as though what hurts you most is the jealosy you feel toward his alcohol use , maybe you want more of his attention?...

  • L****. . .intill???????

  • Ok, person above....

    LEARN TO USE WHITESPACE

    Ever hear of a little saying called 'tl;dr'' ?

    Anyhow...

    Take up masturbation.

    I don't do drugs, smoke nor do I drink.

    And I spank it like crazy.

    But I'm also a lonely nerd.

    /me sobs.

  • TELL YOUR MOM. Don't let him make you responsible. You're only 15. You shouldn't be responsible for his behavior, especially if you're taking it badly. Tell her everything, and it will make things so much better.

  • its never to late to start trying please dont give up i'm 15 to i know that no one deserve this but all i have to say is please dont give up and dont blame yourself for any of this.you cant change your father he has to want to change so just dont give up.and dont follow his footstep.

  • You deserve better. But you got what you got, dont let it control your future.

  • I hope you know you have a choice. YOu can follow the path your father did, or you can follow your own path. It's up to you. Please don't let fear blind you.

  • free weed and alcohol for you!

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