I have no idea what to do
I have a boyfriend of a few years and he's finally starting talking about getting engaged and buying a house within a year or two and moving forward with out lives. Right now, we work together, but that's temporary. We met in college and just happened to get hired at the same company. I love him, I really do.
Back in freshman year of high school, I met a boy. Since then, over ten years ago, he's been my best friend. We had a few flings throughout high school and college. We have fun together, he makes me laugh, I never stop smiling when I'm with him. I've always had a crush on him. Then I met my current boyfriend, and I let all of those feeling towards my best friend go, mostly because he also had a girlfriend of a few years.
About 3 months ago, my best friend shows up at my house, tells me he just broke up with his girlfriend. We had been hanging out about once a week for 3 weeks behind our significant others' backs. We did not cheat, we were merely hanging out as friends. A few weeks after he broke up with his girlfriend, we went to the bar, the day after Christmas. He attempted to kiss me in the car and told me he loves me. A few weeks later we finally talk to each other again, the entire time I had been going crazy with feelings. So we finally talk it out, I tell him how I feel, that I'm happy around him, that I've always loved him. But that I also love my boyfriend, and I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to make the wrong choice and regret it for the rest of my life. He tells me he will be here for me no matter what, that he's not going anywhere, that he'll always be my best friend no matter what. He tells me that he loves me, and he wishes we could be together but he doesn't want to be the reason that I make the decision to leave my boyfriend. To top it all off, every one of my friends - of which some are mutual friends of my best friend - have said for years me and my best friend are meant to be. My own mother has a bet with her best friend that I'll marry my best friend. She's had the bet for years.
If I choose my best friend, who's to stay it will work out in the end and I won't end up losing my boyfriend and best friend all at once. If I choice my boyfriend, then I go on forever wondering "What if", but at least I still have my best friend...
I do love my boyfriend. We've had our rough patches, we've broken up a few times, but we're stronger than ever, we never fight. But, we also work together and part of me wonders if that's holding us together. It's been months now that I'm been tossing this back and forth in my mind. I can't make a decision and it's starting to make me physically sick with stress. This decision is impossible to make and not hope that it just works itself out somehow... cause it won't.