In love with my friend
I've been dating this guy for the better part of a decade but for a little while now, I just don't feel the way I once did. I still love him, and I always will, I just feel like we should break up. He knows I feel this way (detached from him) and he said he understood... But recently he's been trying to make things right....
Meanwhile, I have fallen in love with this guy who is just perfect. He's sweet, sexy, loving, talented... the list goes on and on... Not to mention that when we had s**, it was the best thing I had ever experienced in my life!
The guy I have been dating for a long time doesn't know that I have cheated on him... Repeatedly, with the same few guys over time (and even a girl)... With people you probably would not believe (and for fear someone I know may read this, I am not going to say who they are in relation to me... PS, they are NOT family NOR are they related to him (family, friend, nothing)... But I love him and those other guys were nothing serious and I kept around because it was great. I just love s**. My guy doesn't even have a clue as to what I am capable of in bed, as I am extremely conservative with him. But honestly, years had gone by without me cheating on him, but for the past 2 years, I have just not been wanting him in that way. We don't kiss much, talk much, and s** is almost nonexistent. Also, I spend a lot of time masturbating (at least 3 times a day).
But with this last guy... He completely blew my mind and I have not wanted anyone else since we had s**. Not my guy, none of those others... We had s** before we started to really get to know each other, but now we are starting to get to know each other, not only did he rock my world with his physical... He is mentally and ambitiously my equal and I feel as if I want no other man but him... I'm just afraid to admit it... To him, to my friends... everyone...
First - am I wrong for wanting to leave (my wanting to leave isnt solely based on this new guy. I have felt this way for a long time)
Second - should i tell this guy that i am falling in love? (he has said that he likes me and what we have and doesn't want anyone else).
What should I do????