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What my mother doesn't know
I am a 34 year old male that does not live at home. My mother is 52 and sometimes when she is not home I stop over and go through her dresser drawers and touch her bras and **, nighties. I then rub her ** on my **. I have also found her box of "TOYS" and **. I have looked through them, smelled them and have even stuck her "TOYS" inside my mouth and tasted them.
Why not one of them up your **. Get with the program, son.
Make sure her toys don't have phthalates in them; that would be bad news.