I hate my step daughter

She’s using triangulation, which is a form of manipulation. Essentially, she’s weaponizing your husband against you. My adult step daughter does the same thing. Best thing you can do is thinking about the end game. There are a couple options, you can do the Cold War thing again, or you can confront her, be triggered and cause a WW3. The last option is you confront her, in a kind, loving way (even if you hate her ** guts, just fake it), and communicate you value her and your relationship and want both you and her to feel safe in your home by getting along. If the talk doesn’t go well or her behavior after the talk is still that of a whiny entitled little **, stay calm and positive, but tell you no longer feel comfortable with her around and for the sake of your relationship with her she or you need to take a break. Meaning one of you needs to not live in the home for periods of time. If your husband is a ** and unwilling to see your kindness and efforts then do you want to stay living with him? However you handle it, the result is the same, she’ll be a sniveling, egocentric, hateful brat but at least you will have maintained your dignity and communicated heathy boundaries.

I left and came back with rules and boundaries. If you want me back here are the rules!! I’m not to be expected to be in their presence EVER!!! They can’t come near my house or much less inside. Meeting With their dad is outside my house lunch dinner whatever. No holiday at all. Our sons birthday parties they never gotten an invite not once not ever- he the husband doesn’t bother to ask. I have a beautiful home and very nice car I drive around. And a whole new upgraded ring 2.5 Ct!!! The ** hate me and I despise them back! They are both fat fat fat low self steem tons of emotional issues and financial issues as well. Love to see them struggle, it’s my joy, payback for manipulating and coming between my husband and I with their manipulative way. I have gained a lot of ground now but there a bit more to go still.

I thought it was only me. My adult stepdaughter uses people, uses “religion”
To get what she wants and to have people pay for things. She was a professional student, wanted to go to Greece so yep... go fund me and religion!!
She would visit, jump on furniture.. in her 20’s! Never a job just a dream job. She called her dad saying she was on her way to visit us.. no notice, her dad was just out of the hospital and she asks “ can he get disability?” She and her mom never worked!! So she visitis doesn’t do her laundry.. clean her mess. We are used as a hotel while she just goes off. She wants to meet for dinner, we wait over an hr for her. She shows up for 15 and leaves. Then she is not around on her last morning. Her dad never got to say bye.
She uses people. Age 34
I’ve told her dad since meeting her.
He is too passive. He now is beginning to see what she does. Oh she wanted and got 2 weddings!! Wanted people to bring a food dish and pay for their new home.
He was unable to go, no notice. She is now refusing to return messages.
Nope won’t get a thank you for the present. Invites were on... Facebook!
This has caused so much stress in our marriage.
I hate it!!

Our second son (my stepson) is getting married again but thankfully her parents are very wealthy and paying for the TWO weddings their having . When we first met the girl - she works in Human Resources but was carrying a $1500 Chloe (she was surprised I knew what it was 🙄. My husband’s a Dr.) handbag which of course her parents paid for. They both worked for Microsoft and her dad works for Elan Musk now. They’re from the Ukraine and she has a fake tan, fake lips , possibly fake cheeks too and extensions in her hair our son in-law(my daughter’s husband) who’s from Luxembourg called her a “fried russian” she’s younger than our son (of course) seemed nice enough but I predicted his first marriage would fail and I’m not sure this second one will go the distance - Their both high maintenance.

And how does this fit in? Judge much? Get a life lay and stop cursing your stepsons new marriage. Why would anyone be surprised you called out the brand of handbag on her arm?A. Tacky. B. You sound jealous. C. Unsupportive and rude. Where is your issue with your stepson? That he likes a woman from the Ukraine?

Stick to your “own” daughter and her catty husband. With mother in laws like you who needs backstabbing, petty, fake step parent in laws??

I really thought I was alone here. My SD is 21, she always blames her dad for everything that is wrong in her life. They are always fighting.
When I got married she was 9 and my SS was 11.
I never had a big connection with my SS but he was always very respectful (and still is), her in the other hand, I did everything to be friends with her and at the beginning everything was great.
As she became adolescent, and her friends started talking about branded clothes, is when the problems began.
She was always complaining, we could not hug her, we could not joke with her about absolutely anything. There was yelling between her and her father, every time she did something wrong he would take her phone away and sometimes even hammering it. HE IS NOT AN ABUSING FATHER. She used to ice skating 4 times a week and she was always complaining saying that if she was not good enough was because we didn’t provide for her to be better. One day we were coming back from a competition and we where tired, I had my kids very small (at the time, 4, 2 and the las was 8 months old.) my husband had a hockey game and she wanted to go skating after his game. He said no, she became the Incredible Hulk, hit him, spilled on his face and he almost lost control of the car.
Many times I had her telling me that I cannot tell her what to do because I was not her mom. She is violent, selfish, stubborn and until now, I try to love her because I am the only one that listens to her. She pushed everyone away from her. She left the house 3 times and she aways come back. The last time she left to vive with her mom “because they never had a chance to bond”. Her mom put her out of the house because they had a fight so bad that she made her mom bold on some spots. I can’t take it anymore. If I say something my husband says that I’m saying just because I don’t like her. my kids are afraid of her. I am truly afraid that if she doesn’t move soon, I’ll end up asking for divorce because I’m on a braking point.

I feel for you. I have a sibling like this. Have you ever researched borderline personality disorder? Even if your not privy to armchair diagnosis, some if the communication skills they teach for handling borderline-type behaviors in others can be helpful.

I swore if my ex and I ever divorced I'd never remarry until my children were adults because of horror stories about step-father's abusing the children. Now, I guess I'll never marry again because I'm not putting up with abusive step-children (child or adult), or someone who would hate MY children this much. BTW, not ALL step-children are mistakes----but clearly most of these marriages were. God help your husbands and the children. Some of You should see an exorcist.

Get bent. You're clearly deluded and stupid !...

Not even an excorcist would work on mine.

Maybe bring up respectful kids and not be a vindictive idiot when you're husband leaves you. Might be a good start.

I am the mother of a 25 years old step daughter. I have been her mother for the last 15 years. Her birth mother has not contributed anything to her life-and still does not. She is spoiled beyond anything I have ever known. She is selfish, disobedient, self--centered, disrespectful. She has a false sense of entitlement: trips to Europe, weekends and holidays on the coast, new car and anything that her friends have that she wants her father gives her money to buy it. Her father thinks that by spending money on her, she will somehow raise her social standing. As we all know, that won't happen. At 25, she is what she is.
Even though she has a college education or she spent 4 years at a college, she does not have any meaningful employment and does not bother to look for any.
If there is any attempt to correct her behavior-or at least try, her father jumps to her defense and causes major problems between us.
I do love my husband but at some point this has to end.

Same thing I told mine. At what does the taking care of two disrespectful and lazy adults ends?! At least don’t have to see them. They are not allowed in our house. And that makes me happy!!! And they hate thT I got that from their father. I put my foot down! Often, I have left and I’ve came back for tgat reason alone. They need to ** it up! They are not allowed inside my house!!! I won that and yes it feels like victory to me!!!😃

Sounds immature and demands. You did right thing not having her around , as far as your husband goes tell him man up stop blaming you. . sounds weak and afraid to let is daughter know party time is over she no longer is a child

Hate my SD! She lives been living with us full time for 4 years. Her loser bio mom picks her up every other weekend. I felt sorry for this child in the beginning because she was sexually abused by her much older half-brother (that her mother raises) for years. She is fat & awkward. No one wants to hang out with her for more than 5 minutes, including her bio parents. She grew up poor and wasn’t used to attending after-school activities, wearing nice clothes, attending nice schools, dining out, vacations etc. Bio mom NEVER paid a dime in child support until she was finally forced to by the State a couple months ago...since she just works a crappy part-time hairdresser. Come to find out, SD had been talking ** about me to her bio mom the whole time behind my back. I guess that’s how they bond by talking sh** about me. I don’t buy her ** anymore. She grows out of her clothes every few months because she keeps getting fatter. I don’t say anything to her but hi and bye. She goes to her 5th grade class every day looking like ** while my beautiful and well-attended-to daughter is away attending university with a life full of friends and fun. My hubs admitted he wanted this child to be aborted. Now by default we have to raise this disgusting, gross, stupid, sperm-child because we just can’t let her live with her bio mom. Yet SD spits in the face of the couple of people, me & her dad, who did lots of nice things for her. Not in this house. I predict by 13 she will be hooking up with lots of men online & will be deep into drugs- At that point we will dump her off at her mother’s to live so she can enjoy the **-show. We take mini-vacays while she’s away at her mom’s and then tell her all about It. She should have been more respectful of us since no one wants her anyway! One lucky thing- hubby has always backed me 100% which makes living with this dirty fuzzball child every day more tolerable. I hope bio mom’s womb is retired...she isn’t fit to breed!!!

I've been raising my step daughter for almost 6 years now, she is just now hitting that adolescent stage, but she has always been extremely disrespectful, rude, and down right self centered. Her real dad has done nothing for her, cant even maintain jobs for more than a month, her mom (my wife) is disabled with nerve damage so she cant really do much physically, and yes I do love her. The daughter I always worry about her well being and I try to give her chances including times when her mother won't, but she just always disappoints and just doesnt give a ** how it affects others. She never offers to help with anything and the second anyone tries to talk to her she stares off into nothing, say "sorry" like its a bandage, or starts crying to get out of the situation. I dont want to see her end up like her loser dad, but Im at the point where me loving and being concerned for her life is enough to put up with her **** anymore. I actually had a dream where I tossed her ** out of the house and yelled good luck the other night. I feel like ****, I care more for our cats than my step daughter.

I take back my earlier comment. Your post is the most disgusting.

That’s the same way I feel. He asked for an abortion she said no! Now we got a fat ** lazy with no goals kid another dysfunctional resin in this world

Wow. I feel so much better.

OMG!!!! Wow. I really thought that I was alone out here!!. I married my husband A LITTLE OVER A YEAR AGO! Before we even had our one year anniversary, he was telling me that his daughter wanted to live with us. Seeing that I had only met her five times in two years, I told him to wait until she got out of high school. She lied and told her dad that she was being bullied. So, here she is in my home. She is weird-looking, she stinks up my home with her wretched odor, she acts like she doesn't understand how to do chores...But the house that she came from, the ** was sleeping with her mom's best friend's husband for years and got caught!!! No wonder nobody wanted her around. Now, the witch is living here, sucking up resources. Come to find out that she is 18 and is reading at a sixth grade level. But have her tell it, "with my cute self". I feel like in the very beginning she tried to sleep with my husband (daddy)....**!!!! I hate her. She tries to act like a five year old. And every time that I get ** off at the DUMB stuff that she does, her stupid dad yanks her in the car to try to run to his sister's house. She is unwanted there as well. Nobody wants this p.o.s. around and we just found out that it will take her four more years to graduate. Not in this house she won't. She is so nasty. She combs her nappy head and throws the bunches of hair on the floor instead of the trashcan a few feet from her bed. She lets the shower in her bathroom run over the edge so now we have mold damage in her bathroom. I'm renting so who is going to take care of that when we leave? Her dumb dad won't let her work. Why not? He's scared that she is going to ** everyone at the job? Probably. So, I burn sage and incense to keep her evil out of my house and so that I can tolerate living in my own home. She's out of school for the next two days and I just want her out.Her very presence disgusts me. I hate to look at her. I especially hate that I have to smell her stench!!!

You are scum trash hope ya die from cancer poor child so what if she is gross you are very judgemental freak

She acts like she’d been sexually abused. Sometime you clearly have no patience for considering the fact that all you care about is yourself.

Wow! You are not alone. I’ve told him , that they will never live with us! Ever!! I’ll leave and I’ll. And he knows that! I have left before and can’t live nasty dirty lazy free loaders low self steem low lives trash **

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. When we started dating his son was 19 and his daughter 17. His children were still staying over night on Tuesday nights and every other Saturday night and all day every Sunday. I thought that to be a little weird. His kids never missed a day even when they were sick. Not only would they not do anything with their friends but would make him go to movies with them, etc. Their mother has had a dozen or so boyfriends since we have been together. She always stayed at her boyfriends and said that the kids were old enough to be alone. I thought that they would have been more independent but are very clingy and always looking for dads attention. I tolerated them as best i could . After his son died of a heroine overdose in 2014 his daughter would still stay over night with the custody schedule from before. Finally she went off to college. Of course he has sold everything he could to pay for the 4 years. Her mother has contributed nothing. Also he still pays child support cause he thinks the man should take care of everything and of course to show off to his ex wife that HE"S THE MAN she shouldn't have let go of. His daughter has said to me that "She gets what she wants cause that what her daddy is for." Since that statement i can't even hear her name without getting mad. I really hate her. He has bought her a convertible mustang and a toyota camary for the winter as well. I get so frustrated. I really really hate her. I ignore her when she stops by to see her father. His family all hate me for hating her. I had dated a guy with a daughter before meeting the guy i am with now and got along well with her. Am i a bad person for hating her. I love her father but hate her so much.

Omg I am so glad I found your post. I hate my annoying, self centered, ugly, disrespectful, know it all little B**** SD. She thinks the world revolves around her and she can say and do whatever she wants. She milks her dad for everything we have and doesn’t even say thank you, she is too “depressed” to do any chores or clean up after herself. I wish she would just live with her mom full time. I hope she goes away to college and never comes back.

Your living my life. Daddy’s little girls...I too am counting the days my SD is gone from my house.

I have two ** stain daughters I would happily execute .

Omg you have described my step daughter to a t.

I hope my SD dies from an overdose as soon as possible.

I feel the way you do with my sd

Snowflake 13itchy crybaby adults oh your mad over a person expressing their free will

Just wanted to say if you all hate your stepkids so much don’t get with someone who has other children in the first place! It’s not fair if you’re gonna be immature about it and nasty you should all take a look at yourselves! I have stepdaughter who is 6 and yes she can be a diva but I as a responsible adult have to accept the fact I am married to her father who already has a child and get on with it and learn to love them

6. Exactly. We are talking adult stepchildren. Whats overlooked at 6 is unacceptable at 26

Being six and being eleven and being able to vote or buy booze are all very different. Glad you are able to be with her when she is still in those formative years. Others have not been so lucky. Power and control are what defines most struggles. Easier with someone who has yet to develope abstract thought or master manipulation. Hope all remains healthy. Wish I had my SD at that age. Sincerely!

It’s just hard to believe that ALL of the stepchildren here are clinically narcissistic. That would be statistically impossible.

Go ** yourself

You’re a dumbass...these teenager/adult stepkids can be nightmares

Amen! I TRIED optimism, love and compassion but that didn’t work! This poor kid may have mental illnesses like her mom. We don’t know, but her volatility and absolute rudeness is inexcusable. My parents would have beat my a$$ repeatedly if I acted like her!

Learn to love them .... ??? Respect they are husband's children but you do not have to love them.

You are still new in the game.. You have many years left in this unrewarding, thankless role. Best of luck and report back later!

I know! So glad I have read this. My step daughter is horrid. I blame myself for not being stronger in the beginning, but I so wanted everything to work out. Well, 25 years of marriage and she still has an attitude form **. She is not going to change and I really hate her. She treats me like the maid and says whatever rude comment she wants to make. I was so worried early in my marriage that she would succeed in ruining our marriage. I wasted 25 years thinking that. I just hope she f's off permanently. I think, hope, she had a bad time the last time she stayed with us. Hopefully she'll never come back!!!

Don’t let her come back- leave for holidays. I do so Xmas it’s mine for several years now. I see how much ground if gained the past few years just by putting my foot down! I do get things my way. I’ll not break bread on any holiday with POS. They hate me and I hate them back!

My SD is 23. She is a vial, spoiled, ungrateful, wretched puke. The way to deal with these menaces is to set very strict, unbreakable boundaries. She works her mother like a baker working dough for morning biscuits. Being “the bad guy” I don’t hesitate to call her on anything and everything... reminding her mother that she’s being played like a piano. The SD gets away with ZERO! She’s never afraid to cry fro money when she spends too much. There’s always an excuse... never her fail and never any accountability. Her car is a disaster, always in need of repairs and expects mom to, “foot the bill.” Too bad for the puke! The gravey-train has run dry. Mommy & grand-daddy paid for your college... your drunken binges and for the collateral damage you left along the way. Now she’s fast & furious in finding a rich young man she can spread her legs for; taking him on a one-way trip to **!!
This little gold-digger is out there! Warn your sons! She has many friends just like her.

Why should she ** a poor guy instead? hater

I just read someone else has a stepdaughter named Olivia, crazy, that's my stepdaughter's name and I hate her just as much as the other poster hates their stepkid. I honestly can't deal with having a stepdaughter that's this horrible, she takes all of our money and my husband still goes to see her a few times a month. I'm hoping one day he gets sick of her and just abandons her like the useless waste of life that she is.

Mine is 23, has no job because she injured herself in 2 car accidents by driving under the influence and to endanger. She has dreadlocks, and posts pics of herself in tiny bikinis and shorts untied to her **. She tells my husband she'd visit, then blows him off. He continues to pursue her, and kiss her **. She messages the "I love you, Daddy...." CAN I PUKE???? I don't care if I never see her again.