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The true me.
I'm 14 and:
I'm agnostic. I'm almost 6ft but not overweight. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never kissed a guy. My family all hates me. Sometimes my sister physically hurts me and my mum and dad used to. All my life I've been bullied because of my height. I'm sorta bisexual, cause I like girls but I wouldn't go out with one. I always feel like cutting to get rid of the pain, but I never actually do because I'm scared that I'll hit a vein. My mum smokes cigaretts and Weed but I've never touched either. I don't know why, but I always think about having **. I always tend to like older guys. The guy I like is a drop out 16 yr old. I keep a knife next to my bed for protection. Music helps me through everything. I sort of had depression last year. My mum swears at me and shouts at me and is constantly putting me down.
Ok sorry, just wanted to write and get some stuff off my mind.
But 14 and no boyfriend is 100% normal. Or else you are a teen **. ???
Stop using sorta sort of and other such lame qualifiers. Use BYM (baby yoda mind) - something either is or is not. There is no try. There is no 'sorta'.
If you care for any advice - get outa your head and into the world. The world is fun, crooked, fun. Full stop. It is a cake and so EAT your piece. Do NOT 'sorta' sort of look at it and talk of it. Just EAT it. Life is not to think of it. It is not a riddle. And at a point in two or three years you will no longer being served on a plate. The family will move on, and you will be in deep water. Or the other thing. Make your choice TODAY.
You will start liking your life when you start living it. And stop using music as a drug. Stop using drugs. Full stop. Music, **, cocaine - just stop using drugs. You cannot have a clear vision of what there is when your brain is full of foreign chemistry.
Have a good life. Do. Otherwise there is none.
msg signed digitally:
Baby Yoda
You will feel better about yourself if you do break away. Find some nice kid to f*** you, and believe me, you will be happy. Even if you just start by s****** c***, the ** can liberate you. You will soon be strong enough to break away from your f****** family.
Theres, nothing wrong with getting things off your mind. The last thing you need to do is hold ** like that in. ** & drugs feel good only for a little. Find a better outlet to release. Start writing what u feel go try out for sports do something productive, you can make all your pain into a song & express it to the world someday. Life is what you make it, try to look for that silver lining.