Humans are disgusting.

I have some kind of strange s** obsession. And i cannot stand myself for it. At times, i really just want to slit my wrists, so i cant do anymore harm unto myself. We as humans have such guilty pleasures. But the fact that im alone makes it worse. I dont want to be some weird, sexually driven girl who 'does it all by herself' all the time.
I want to love, and be loved. And if that person and i were to have s**, It'd be wonderful. Not sick. And i would never feel guilty afterwards.
I'm loyal, I'm friendley. And, if someone were to even take the time to get to know me, i suppose i'd be a good girlfriend.
But instead, boys my age go for the stupid girls with huge t***. Go figure right? While im at home and my drunk 45 year old pedophile neighbor hits on me. Whats wrong with this picture?
All im saying, is im really sick and tired of being desperate, and alone. And im going to stop doing what i do to myself. Masturbation is healthy and all that good s***... but not when you feel like killing yourself afterwards.
I confess, im a disgusting human.
But i want to be a better person.

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  • finding the right person is difficult. even if you find someone you will have ups and downs. Your not a disgusting person and you deserve to have a happy relationship with someone. Don't give up. I'm older but have struggled with masturbation from time to time. Sexual urges are natural and it happens. Obsessive or addictive behavior isn't healthy but I don't think that's you. My advice is maybe get involved in something in your community, like a church or some youth group. You gotta be around the right kind of people or you'll just find dirt bags who just want to have s** and that isn't good either. good luck..

  • Hey its ok im a boy and I feel like that too

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