I lied to God

I think the problem here is that your father is such a malevolent ogre, that you feel you have to lie to him rather than tell the truth, because being raised in the Christian faith he is incapable of reason.

Your father has no authority to invoke god. Thats like your mother sending you to h*** for not taking out the trash.

i think you're safe, seeing as god doesn't exist, you know?

As if you would know.

Next time, say "Dad, I'll tell you the truth if you tell me TRUTHFULLY how often you m*********." That will shut him up.