I really want to leave my church...

For a few years I've been involved at different groups that happen to meet at the Baptist church in the center of town. They don't have anything to do with religion, the church is just like our community center since it's a landmark everybody knows. Anyway. This past fall the historical society I'm in was holding an event with the church. I decided to go. It was a free lunch so my parents decided to tag along as well. When we got there the Pastor came right up and shook our hands welcoming us, and everyone there was very sweet to us. All of us were agnostic, but after all these we decided to try out the church. For a while it was nice. Everyone would say hello and talk to us every Sunday, miss us if we weren't there, and it was just great.

Around mid-winter is when things started turning sour. For school I started an internship there and spent a lot of time working with the youth Pastor and head Pastor. Once I got to know them I learned they were not the type of people I wanted to be around. My youth Pastor would repeat things I told her in confidence. My head Pastor showed some very harsh views on where children stand and such. Everyone at the church also was starting to pry into our lives subtly. It wasn't a caring interest at all, it just seemed as if they were downright nosey.

The straw that broke the camel's back was about 3 months ago. I was asked to speak in front of the congregation. The pastor said it would be simple, so I agreed. When Sunday morning came the plans changed and I was so flustered I stood outside the sanctuary about to burst with tears. He came outside to find me, and tried to motivate me to speak. At first he just gave me a side hug and stood there praying with me, and as I was about to agree to go inside he started walking me up to the stand. The problem was he actually was holding me so I couldn't try to leave. He didn't do anything innappropriate, it's just I'm 16, and I don't find it right.

The thing is I'll admit even with the staff's flaws and the other people being nosey I still am a Christian and love them all. I just feel as if I make a mistake they'll make me feel horrible for it.

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