If only I had been myself

I lied, so much that there is no way I could ever expect him to forgive me, even though he said he loved me.
I pretended to be a girl, I clearly am not. I talked to a boy I went to school with and pretended to be from another state. I lied a lot and dramatically but I was always the person I am in the inside, with him. He said he loved me and I know I do but I want him to know the truth but I'm scared what he will do. It's been two years but I still feel extremely guilty and I still care about him and really wish we could be friends. He's the only person I have ever really trusted.

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