I don't know who I am anymore.
I am deeply in love with my boyfriend and get panicky over the thought of us not being together or anything happening to him. He loves me too and we're usually attached at the hip unless our work schedules and school schedules don't work out. He was gone the other day so I went to the pool with a bottle of wine. I met a man who was old enough to be my father, but in very good shape. He even had a six pack! We talked a lot and then went to his apartment to talk some more when the pool closed. I talked all about my boyfriend and how much I love him, but how we don't have s** enough because he's on antidepressants. I told him I couldn't cheat on him but my high libido is killing me. Long story short, we drank too much and I ended up having s** with him. He was amazing. I've always fantasized about a much older man because I thought they'd be better and boy was I right. He was so attentive and went down on me forever, made me feel like I was the hottest thing in the world, and f***** me until I came repeatedly. I feel horrible, but I woke up wanting to go to his apartment.