It's incredibly mind bending, I know that we were friends-bestfriends. I know every momment almost perfectly.. It's just like. You never existed. I have nothing to remind myself of you. Sometimes, I believe I'm crazy. Perhapes you weren't anything more than my imagination. I catch myself wondering what your think about these days. If you ever overcame the shadow that possed you. I can't help but want to pick up the phone and call you, in fact I had to delete your number. I changed mine too, but I still can't help but wonder.. What if you text me someday, and I'm not there to answer. What if you call?.. It doesn't matter I guess. The pain I feel, will stick with me. It's something I'll have to learn to avoid. Something my brain will have to teach itself to erase, dispose, empty itself from you. I still stop myself now and again, I try to think what I did. Then I realize, over and over again. It wasn't me. It really wasn't. I know what I said. I know what I did. And no reason to deserve the suffocating pain you cause me. . I really can't decided. And it brakes me down, I try to mend myself. Cover the wounds and hide the sickness I carry. I'm not you. I'm not a sociopath. You are. All these feelings I ever felt, the love devotion wasn't real. Because you, you can't feel like I do. You can't see the way I see, everything for you, is possessions. How it helps you.. how it makes your life easier.
It doesn't matter if you hurt me.
Or if it kills me.
Je ne sais pas.