That I hate myself, and i'm better at people in genreal. People are stupid selfish beings myself included and I don't want to be here or anywhere I wish I were dead. Not that I want to kill myself, but if I died, I would really be okay with that. I'm not here anymore. My heart hurts so bad, I'm feeling a pain I've never felt before, and I have had my heart broken before. But I don't know how to function around this pain. I feel like I'm sad enough for my mother, who keeps smiling for some reason. How the h*** is she doing it? I used to be able to... but for once I can't smile and pretend to be okay... I really just can't...

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