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The spark is out.
I've been happy before. TRULY happy, I have been. I remember what it felt like to just wake up to the sun, and smile. What happened? Life happened. Have the obstacles became more secure, or have I just became more weak? I want to go back. But we all wish that at some point.I'm truly a terrible person now. And I wish I wern't. But, I am.
I'm only sixteen; and life gets harder and harder everyday. I always argue just to stuggle with being overly correct than the other person. I just have this stong urge and desire to just quit, or cry. I hate crying. I always say I'm quitting. And then I always say I'm perfectly fine. I'm such an idiot. I'm so pathetic. My life is **. Why am I even still here? I suppose the truth is, I don't have it in me to kill myself.
I always push away the ones that think they know me well enough. And day by day, I challenge them. Why do I secretly push them away? I'm so stupid, I hate myself. I don't fit in anywhere. Nobody cares about me. They all say they do. I'm a **. I always take advantage of the love people give me. I hate myself.
I wish that tomorrow I'd die so everyone else can be happy without me starting drama.
I'm 16 too and I think you have to give you experience be yourself without fit anywhere live on your on world find what make you feel happy and stay there life is about it. it's about live in our own world.
Thanks for your reply. It's been 5 years since I posted this, and I don't feel anything like what is described in this post. I'm glad to say it does get better. <3