I'm afraid that I've come all the way to the other side of the world just because I thought it would look cool on facebook. I'm not sure if I even wanted to be here in the first place and I'm afraid that what I really want to do, is go home and get drunk, because I can do that at home but not here. Sometimes I just feel locked up here and I can't tell anyone, because I've acted so excited for the past year and payed over 10 000 euros to come, but now that I'm here I don't know if the excitement was actually real. I'm afraid my friends will grow closer and closer in the time I'm gone and that I will no longer fit in the group when I come back. I'm afraid the guy I like will be dating someone else by the time I go home and that I will never be able to have s** with him. But most of all, I'm scared that this has been the biggest mistake I've ever made, because if it is, I will never be able to admit it.