I'm a horrible person
I've been married for 21 years and for 19 of those, I had the most amazing lover outside of my marriage. As an outstanding co-incidence, he met someone new and didn't tell me and it caused a break-up fight between us within one week of my husband finding incriminating texts on my cell phone. At least once a month, I've done something anonymously to "bother" this ex-boyfriend. I'm sure he would call it "stalking" if you asked him. Things like ordering books using the name of his ex-girlfriend that he wanted to marry but SHE cheated on HIM. and I've thrown eggs at his car and denied it when he sent me an email about it. The VERY worst part is that I considered him to be one of my top five best friends for all that time, and the way he lied to me one of the last times I went to visit him and asked if he was interested in someone new and he said no and then I find out that he WAS interested in someone new has sent me into mourning for the last two years. He cheated on three girlfriends with me during those 20 years. He could say things to me like "I'm only good in bed because of you. You made me good in bed." and then he could just toss me to the side like a used tissue. I drove to his house 155 times in two & 1/2 years. It felt like we had a 20 year courtship, a three year honeymoon, then he went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back.