I'm so torn. I love my boyfriend, I really do. But I also hate him for what he has been doing, what we have been doing. We've had s**, a lot. But we're Christians, and we are living a lie. We wanted to save it for marriage, and I wanted to save my virginity for my husband, but now it is gone. I feel empty, broken. And we've been lying to everyone who tries to keep us accountable, plus I still wear a purity ring. It feels like a big weight on my finger that reminds me of our mistakes every time I look at it. I know many people will say, "So what? He's your boyfriend, you can have s**." But it really isn't right, and its killing me inside. I don't know if I can do this for much longer. I want to end it, but I can't break up with him. I just don't know how to feel whole again.