Right now, I really want to die

I just made my dream girl (now Ex girlfriend) hate me. I f***** up my chances she gave to me. All this time I prayed someone to come to my life and then she came, more than I have asked for. She is so beautiful and loving. Right now, I realized that besides my father and my friends, she is all the reason why I cling to life. All my life I haven't done anything significant. Yes, I am financially stable by my father's salary. I am lucky to have my video games and afford proper schooling. But I am a j***. I am very lazy and I know someday after finishing my course, I have nowhere to go. I am incompetent, irresponsible and I do not want to know what will happen to me years from now. I don't know how to change this attitude. I don't know how to even talk to people without being nervous. And now that my girlfriend left me (with anger), I really want to quit life. I always fantasize about not waking up or just suddenly dying down. Don't worry, I won't commit suicide. I don't want to bring pain to all love ones I will left behind. I know many people might want my current status in life, but me... I just want to end all my frustrations. I want to quit. I can't stand all the guilt that I feel for everyone I love. I don't want to disappoint my father after all he invested in my schooling, just to know that I suck at my job. I don't want to see my ex girlfriend being happy for other reason (it really brings too much pain). I don't want to bear all the responsibility I need for my loved ones. I want to escape it all. I'm a coward. I am useless. I just want someone to share with me their sorrows....

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  • i'm too tired to live anymore.

  • I feel you bro. I've had the same thoughts. And to see the girl you love and not be able to do anything, I just really hate that feeling...

  • It's quite easy, and you already know it. Live = work. Nothing comes just like that. Even if you have a lot already. Make an effort, you know exactly what you need to do. You also know it's not pleasant ... the truth is ... it can become pleasant. It's never fun to start doing something you think you won't like or that will take effort. But you'll also take pride in it, other people will be proud of you. You will change, become more confident and everything will work out. Just stop being lazy!

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