Tears on the blade

Sometimes i really have to force myself to not pick up a blade. I've never cut before, and I don't actually understand the draw to it, but sometimes... something in me snaps. I grab the blade, and I just sit. I toy with it, press it into my thumb until it leaves a line in my finger like a guitar string, but I don't let it dig in. I contemplate it though. Do I want to kill myself? Not consciously... but maybe somewhere inside me that's what I'm doing... I don't know.

Aly, you help, even when you're making it harder. It hurts to know that you're so happy without me, but it's great to know that you're finally getting what you deserve. I love you.

Oct 4, 2011

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  • It HAS to be a blade when you-- hehe-- "snap"? It can't be a pair of running shoes or a paintbrush or anything productive, it MUST MUST MUST be a blade?

    Stupid children. Cut vertically and spare the rest of us your unending yet predictable drama.

  • you just have an unrealized desire to become a bladesmith

    seriously stop fooling with cheap stainless steel crap knives and go take a bladesmithing class learn about REAL STEEL

    let me know how you feel about knives afterwards :)

  • Chicken s***.

  • nothing is worth hurting yourself. and you shouldn't cut, trust me I stated and now I don't think I can stop. No good ever comes out of self-mutilation. Now I have to live with all these marks and the constant reminder of how much self-control I lack. You might say you're only going to do it once, but that's NEVER the case. If you decide to go down that road you'll find yourself stuck in the same hole I'm in and it's no fun;( Please just make the promise to yourself that you'll find the strength to put an end to this problem before it begins. Please get some help.Best of Luck:))

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