Tears on the blade
Sometimes i really have to force myself to not pick up a blade. I've never cut before, and I don't actually understand the draw to it, but sometimes... something in me snaps. I grab the blade, and I just sit. I toy with it, press it into my thumb until it leaves a line in my finger like a guitar string, but I don't let it dig in. I contemplate it though. Do I want to kill myself? Not consciously... but maybe somewhere inside me that's what I'm doing... I don't know.
Aly, you help, even when you're making it harder. It hurts to know that you're so happy without me, but it's great to know that you're finally getting what you deserve. I love you.