I don't know how I feel. It is
I don't know how I feel. It is extremely difficult to carry on everyday on a regular basis pretending to be somebody I'm not. I pretend to be someone who knows what or who they want. I pretend to have forgotten about the past and how I don't love him anymore. The truth is I'll never stop loving him. Everynight I think about him and everynight I wonder why we can't evn be just friends. He says he hates and he completely ignores me. What am I supposed to do? I have classes with him and I see him more now than I ever did before. I go through all of our emails, pictures and letters weeping and I can't do it anymore. I tried to take my life on several different occasions and it was all for him. I hurt myself before and I might do it again. Why can't it just be simple? Why can't I walk up to him and tell him how much it kills me to not be in his life? Why? How long can this possibly go on for? Will I love him forever? Will the pain ever stop?