All my life I have hates my body and considered myself fat. I have always been underweight it's just the way I naturally am. My weight has recently turned into an obsession. I've been severly restricting my food intake though I hesitate to call myself anorexic. Today I over ate and was extremely upset with myself for it. I started poking my wrist with a sewing needle as a punishment which is something I used to just do as recreation. When I went into the bathroom to clean the needle I was overcome by the urge to make myself throw up all the extra food. Without any hesitation I tied my hair back kneeled down and shoved my fingers as far down my throat as I could. After a few minutes of painful attempts which were all in vain. I found myself crying with both emotional and physical pain horribly ashamed of myself. I feel like I wouldn't be ashamed if I had been successful. This is all extremely scary for me cause I'm only 13 years old.