Just a vent
I've been depressed for years. I've taken alot of bullcrap since forever. I've been bullied, verbally abused, left alone, physically abused, and raped. All things that I can't vent to anyone except online people about because all those things that I listed above were acts done by people I trusted and loved. But I'm known as a strong girl. I've always have been. It's a facade I have that has been going strong for years. So everyone decides to take their anger out on me. Eventually it built up and I ended up with a severe case of depression. My parents didn't and still don't want to believe that their daughter could ever be upset, same for my friends. And lately..everything is setting me off. I was recovering for a good 4 months and suddenly it all came back. Anyway I was washing dishes two days ago and while washing a bowl, it slipped and fell against the sink, smashing all over the floor and my stomach. Being the upset dumbass I am, I grabbed a piece and just cut across my arm. After I did that, I lost all senses. I just kept cutting. Now I have 6 cuts healing on my right arm and 4 cuts on my left arm. I put on cover up but it came off after my first period class. I'm scared that someone might notice and send me off as a crazy or suicidal person. I don't want to have to let down my guard and tell someone everything I've been holding back. And I can't stop. Everyday I get more and more reasons to take out anything sharp and just cut away.