I was drunk,

I'm a girl in a long distance relationship with a boy. My boyfriend and I got into a fight, and so I drank with my friends. While I was completely wasted, some girl at the party and I went to find a bed to sleep in (yes actually sleep). I walked into my friend A's room and asked if I could lay in his bed to sleep. He said yes. While I was there he put his hands on me, and took his shirt off. I told him no, it wasn't going to be like that and he put his shirt back on. The girl I was with walked in and saw A put his shirt back on. She walked over and kissed me. I stopped them both when I realized what was going on. And then they started to make out and it took me a while to leave the room.
Later on while I was still very intoxicated, the same girl kissed me again and while I let that happen, another "friend" pulled off my pants. I didn't feel him do that but he then tried to penetrate me, and I felt that.
I screamed and ran away when I felt him.

My boyfriend said I cheated, and I agree. But I feel like I was more taken advantage of, and I don't know what to do because he absolutely hates me. I know it was my fault for drinking, but I don't think he should totally blame me for what happened afterwards.

I don't know what to do. This has happened before and last time I let my emotions get the best of me, so I haven't been as emotional about it, and it's making him think I wanted this to happen.
I didn't want this to happen, and since it has I haven't been able to eat or sleep properly.
I don't know what to do. My relationship is failing and I'm scared.

3 Comments

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  • You should leave the room every time your boyfriend tries to penetrate you until he concedes that didn't count

  • No one was raped, no one cheated. Something almost happened, but you did the right thing even when you were drunk by stopping it happening and leaving the room. The whole thing is not worth thinking about. Not even sure why you told your boyfriend. The reason he's mad is because you've painted a picture in his mind of something far worse than what actually happened.

  • you were raped. your boyfriend shouldnt blame you but i hope this teaches you to control your drinking.

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