The log in my eye

So I am this quiet nice christian boy right? My life is going great I got family friends and a good education ahead of me. Now let's take a look deeper. I am writing this confession at 11 o clock at night. For the past 6 days I have gotten 4 or less hours of sleep. I suffer from insomnia. Deeper still. The only reason I have made it into a good highschool is my own sweat and blood and the work of my mothers. I was blessed with an ADD mind and work through distractions and generally mixed emotions on a daily basis. Deeper still I am a chronic liar I will say anything to get my way and has of yet felt No consequences. Deeper still into my black heart and troubled min is an addiction to p**********. L*** has filled my body time and time again and I have no strength to resist. Now let's take another look at that same nice Christian boy seemingly stro g in belief and confident is broken and black on the inside. Suicide has entered my brain on many more than one occasion some would call me insane for giving up a life this good. But I have seen it. And my life won't turn out well. I am almost sure of it. If you are still reading by this time pray for me please. This is not all I have to share far from it but it feels good to get thi load off of my chest.
Thank you

Jan 11, 2012

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  • dude,
    all you need to do right now is shake off the feeling and busy yourself.
    life's good and you seem to be doing well if there aren't any money troubles.
    finding something new to do will take time.
    it's OKAY.
    i'm going through s*** myself but I DO have finacial problems, huge ones. but i'm going to push harder for the life i know that's waiting for me if i can just HOLD TIGHT.
    no ones gng to walk your road, with you or for you.
    be your own best friend!
    hope things work out for you, man, take care of you :)

  • :sigh: When will people QUIT listening to the f****** "experts"? You do NOT get ADDICTED to P***! You get addicted to things that your body developed a physical need for after repeated use. Addiction is NOT a disease. It's not an Affliction. It's a dependency that your MIND craves.

    What you have done is developed this nice little package of justification for being the spoiled little s*** that you are.

    So, here is what you need to do first. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. YOU look at p*** because YOU want to. You CHOOSE to look at p***. There is no mystical force ot demonic presence forcing you to look.... you do so because you find it pleasing and titillating to do so and it is a CONSCIOUS choice!

    Once you discover the absolute freedom and POWER of self honesty I think you will THEN realize that every reason you have made up for your deviation are simply lies you tell youorself to make it OK. Oh and the self loathing.... that is you FURTHER justifying your actions by self punishment.

    Go chew on that s*** sandwich for a day or two and start being an honest person..... a REALLY honest person and quit lying to yourself!

  • You are not alone, many men, many people suffer from s** addictions. People are weak, God knows that. Just keep trying and don't give up, don't give in. I am praying for you, I need help too. Just because you are Christian or any other religion does not mean you are supposed to be perfect, just try to be as good as you can.

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