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I've realized why I'm so apathetic
Because despite my potential to be something great, gifted with creative talents and intelligence, I grew up truly believing that I was a hero. A protagonist. Destined for greater things - slaying dragons and being a strong beautiful princess of a great nation. Having a dramatic love. Saving the world. And when I finally faced reality and got my nose out of fantasy books, became a normal 21 year old art school student, I realized that I don't even feel like trying any more. I'm depressed because reality isn't the story I was hoping for. So I sit at home, become anti social, and develop no desire to participate in my current life.
The sad part is, I would really like to.
I just don't know how to find the self discipline to do so.
Or maybe I just can't convince myself that I want it.
Other anonymous advised really well, so I'll just add this; it sounds a but like uou're having an episode of depression. Maybe speak to a councillor? I'm turning twenty this year and had a sudden loss of interest much like you're describing, and I found that talking to someone about it really helped.
You may be going through a phase that will soon pass. I had a kind of rude awakening like yours, but, mercifully, it passed, and I have had a fulfilling life in spite of not living up to most of my bigger dreams; some of which were unrealistic. I also learned to play the hand life dealt me with better finesse, and to focus more on what I had instead of what I didn't have.
At your age, you have so many possibilities before you. It's an enviable time in a person's life. I hope you get back on your feet and get your drive and ambition back.
Take care.