I have only been in love once, he was and is the most amazing guy I know. We've known each other since 6th grade and been close since 8th. He's sweet, incredibly funny, honest, sexy; basically, completely perfect. We've dated on and off for years because I always end up s******* things up. I am completely attracted to him both sexually and emotionally but, I need to have s** with other men. I can't commit to only him! I don't know why! I've had so much s** outside of our relationship its disgusting. All I ever do is break his heart and end up missing him like crazy. I know it's ridiculous and I should be able to control myself but I can't! I want to only be with him but, my mind and v***** have other plans. I've never admitted this to anyone. I wish most of all I could tell him. He wouldn't understand.