Dying of guilt

I have been exposed to p********** at 12 years at an internet cafe..i have been excited at first until i read an erotic story of a son f****** his own mom...i was devastated..i was feeling very guilty of reading such things...then one i came across an incestous video..it has since become an nightmare for me..i got hooked on to the erotic reading though the actual thing really disgusted me to the core...i was reeling under immense guilt..i slowly overcame with understanding the wrong and since then stuck to only normal p***..it made life a lot easier..but i nowadays i keep testing myself whether i have really overcome the guilt or not...i keep seeing my mom and test myself with thoughts and every time i do that i am contradicted by it ..i feel happy that i am disgusted by it...but now i cant stop these tests even though i am disgusted..this constant testing is taking a toll on my mind...i want to stop but am unable to...i really want all this to end and lead a normal and happy life ...i sometimes contemplate on commiting suicide//......

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  • there are some sick people in this world. stupid perverted comments.

  • This is why p********** is only for people of age. You are becomming confused by it, which is what happens. Don't feel bad, this isn't abnormal, you just are not ready to see these sorts of things without putting them in proper context. When I was 16 I had a friend like you. He watched incest p*** and was on the verge of asking his mother for s**! I talked him out of it by begging and pleading with him not to do it, because he wasnt thinking clearly and would regret it. He couldnt take it anymore, said he needed to see if she would suck him off. I had one last resort to save my friend. I told him I would suck his c*** for him if it would make him change his mind about asking his mom. I am a straight male but I cared enough about him to do that, so I did it, and I wasn't proud of it. It was traumatic for me. It ruined our friendship but at least he didnt ruin his relationship with his mother. I hope you can see that this isn't real, it has been put in your head by p**********. And when you get older it will pass, just please don't hate yourself for thoughts you can't control.

  • It's just a faze of childish hormonal curiosity period! So just get over it and carrying on living a great life!

  • It's ok, it's not unusual to have fantasies. But you need to stop obsessing over it and "testing" yourself, all you are succeeding in doing is making yourself sick and crazy! Take it easy on yourself. : )

  • thanks a ton! i appreciate it! thanks seriously..

  • it is ok

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