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I want to kill my stepdad

I hate everything about my stepdad he is the most arrogant piece of ** ever put on the face of the planet Iam disgusted I even have to breath the same air he breaths my mom puts him before anyone even her 4 kids he is a drug dealer with no life or job he is nothing Ii honestly think my mom is afraid to be alone so that's why she deals with him I pray to god everyday that he dies I pray someone just shoots him I'm considering killing him myself I've been thinking about it for the last three years I might get a gun and shoot him in his sleep or stab him I hate him with everything and I want him out my life since the 4th grade he has ruined my life I started cutting myself and he mentally abuses me I'm just going to get a gun it's either me or him

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