In control.

I just weighed myself, I'm down to 7 stone (99 pounds). I thought this would be enough but it's not. I still feel fat. I still cut myself nearly every time I eat. I still don't have a flat stomach. Sure I'm boney, but not in the right places.

I'm cold all the time, and tired. I get depressed a lot, and have taken the day off work because I just couldn't face it. But it will be worth it if I can go out in a bikini.

People tell me that I've lost weight, that I'm skinnier. But I don't see it. It makes me feel like a liar and a fraud, so I lose more. Sometimes I stop and think, 'what am I doing?' I look at myself and see bones, and am disgusted. But next time I'll look at myself and see rolls of fat, and am disgusted even more.

I don't consider myself to have a disorder, or to be anorexic. I don't think I'm skinny enough to be anorexic, and as far as a disorder goes, that's a word for people who aren't in control. I am in control.

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  • In control? Far from it. You have an eating disorder and a bad case of body dysmorphic disorder. You will never be happy at the rate you're going. Your body goes into starvation mode because you're not eating. So it actually holds on to fat cells. Instead of looking for a bikini, your family will be looking for a coffin to bury you in. Sad, but that's the truth. Go and get help. You can learn to eat and exercise in moderation and more importantly be healthy and love yourself just the way you are.

  • 99 pounds? first of all how old are u -2 my 12 year old cousin is 99 and- 3.yeah thats anorexia

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