What is Real? What is Not Real?

What are really happening in reality are bitterness, nastityness; what I tried to focus on (men i desire and praying to God)are not happening in reality - they dont't exist, although shifting my focus on them relieve my pain. But I doubt that keep feeding my mind with all these mental opium will improve my life?
I'm in love with someone not being with me, I cant reach out to get him, i dont see him anymore, and i dont know him so much actually. i wonder will it make me crazy and pathetically lonely...because it's not realistic...

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