I hate my family. I'm a grown man with children, and i'm not talking about them.
I've made mistakes in my past due to drinking, but have really cleaned up my act the last several years, and have tried to do every thing possible just to live and try to make family proud of me.
When I graduated H.S years ago, my present was my moms husband saying when are you getting the f*** out of my house? And my mom saying, well I bought you that $30 pair of pants 4 months ago. When my brother graduated they bought him a $400 guitar.
When I went into the military (because had no other options for a place to live) I thought that would make my family proud, but when it came time for my graduation, I called my mom, and her reply was, "Oh did you want us to come?" needless to say I was the only person in my squadron that had no family at the graduation. The time I was in, no one in my family gave a s***, like it wasn't a big deal, so I got depressed and got out, f*** it right.
When my brother went into the same branch, there my mom and her husband were front and center at his graduation. Then when they came to the state we were both living in (seperate homes) we were all at my brothers place and my mom's husband couldn't stop talking about how great the military was and how fantastic it is, and how proud of my brother (not his real son) he was. It killed me inside and I started to tear up so finally I grabbed my woman and children and we just left.
I get bored at times so I go on to FB and look at my mom's husbands page which is open to all, and anytime it's a birthday for my brother, his wife, or his kids, he screams it out on FB about his grandchildren and how great they are, or his daughter-in-law, etc, etc. Yet when it's my children's birthday or my wife's he doesn't say s*** about it. Then you know how people can put certain people on their FB as family members, like son, daughter, etc. Well he has all of his kids listed, my brothers, and my brother's wife listed as his children, but no mention of me or my wife.
This p***** me off to witness this, and i've brought it up to my mom, but she says it's just my imagination, and that they love my children and blah blah blah.
They come down to visit once a year, and I dread it every time, like i'm dreading it this year. I don't want them here, I don't want to see them, but I feel like I can't say no, because it's unfair to my children not to see them. As I said i'm a grown man, but I truly f****** hate my mom, her husband, my brothers wife, and aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Just because i'm a man, doesn't mean I don't have feelings and when it's constantly rubbed in your face that you don't mean s*** to your family, it f****** hurts. I'm serious when I say if any of the people I mentioned died tomorrow, I wouldn't shed 1 tear, nor give 2 s**** about them dying.
Does this make me a bad person?