my son verbally abuses me and is both

my son verbally abuses me and is both verbally and physically abusive to my daughter. i think he is displacing his anger on us because his dad left when he was 7 (he's 12 now) and never said goodbye, and hasn't contacted him since--he doesn't even pay child support so i can buy him good school clothes. i feel sorry for him because i know he's hurting inside and that's probably where his anger is coming from, but some days i just can't take it.

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  • btw , are you sure there is not a sexual element to all his abuse, to your daughter, i would be worried about that....

  • um , marry the first guy that won' t take s*** from this little brat or find someway to pay a couple of thugs to whoop his think you need to sit down with a good stiff drink or some pot and get creative......there are ways of making someone's life a living h***....but i wouldn't put up with that kind of s***.....

  • ^^beat his MUTHAfucking ass!!!!

  • beat his f****** ass.

  • oh, believe me, i've tried everything. spankings and beatings DO NOT help. if i beat him every time he was disrespectful or did something wrong, he would be in traction or dead today.

    I had to put a lock on his bedroom door to make him serve his time-outs, but for that, i almost got child welfare called on me. the only thing i've found effective is to take away priveleges.

    i've taken him to counselors, but now that he's gotten older, he doesn't want to go. he's not a talker, and i don't think it helps. if i tried to force him to go, he would run away and he's very fast, strong and stubborn. i am at a loss.

  • You're in a tough situation. My advice is not to try to "wing it." Get some help. There are books on the subject. This period will test you for sure. Good luck.

  • What ever happened to disciplining Children? Seems when todays world stopoed discipling children, and had a thousand reasons why their children were out of control, they started getting violent.
    If i did that when I was 12 my father would have drove me into next week, with a yardstick and belt. My generation turned out pretty good and respected people as well.

  • Being a 'supportive' person isn't what you need to be. You're the PARENT, not your child's best friend.
    Your child needs help with his anger issues now, not for you to feel "sorry" for him, because when he gets older, it'll only get worse once he hits puberty.

    You really want to be a good person and help your son, get him some professional help (and go with him) or talk to his school counsellors/teachers, and tell him you won't tolerate any more of his behaviour when he acts out. Taking out his problems on the ones he loves through verbal abuse/anger is NOT something he needs to learn now - what will he do when he has a wife/family??

  • thanks

  • You're a very good person for being patient with him, trying to understand where he's coming from, and trying.

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