The only time i'm happy is when i pretend all those problems don't exist. i just want to forget everything. start fresh. be someone new. who doesn't f*** everything up. i genuinely can't think of any good attributes i have that aren't fake or out on. i keep waiting for things to get better or for the strength to become a better person but i know these things won't happen because i'm a lying cheating selfish b**** who can't save herself.