Stop talking about me!

Okay so, I'm 23 years old. I'm currently unemployed, but actively seeking employment. I lost my job due to medical issues.(I had a tumor and needed time off) I've had interviews, filled out apps, gone to career centers etc. So, I'm making more than just an effort. I'm engaged to a wonderful guy who I love more than anything. At this point I still live with my mom which isn't totally abnormal for someone my age these days, especially with our current economic situation. It's not one of those things where I'm relying on her, and sucking her dry, she relies on me, too and needs my help a lot. I do freelance writing so I do have some income, I'm just looking for a small part time job maybe 15-24 hours a week to help out a little more.

My siblings, particularly one of my sister in laws who I'm very close with continues to say hurtful things about my future. I love her, and we're not on bad terms, and I'm more passive than most people in my family. I tend to be quiet when things get heated, which I'm definitely trying to change. Or when I'm spoken to directly in a rude manner I tend to write it off more often, rather than get mad and say something hurtful back. However, her comments are becoming increasingly more aggravating. She says things like "She'll never get married" (As I stated earlier I'm ENGAGED so wtf?) Or "She'll never move away from mommy" (If I left my mom right now she'd be devastated, and have to move far away) Or she compares me to my brother's uncle (we have different fathers) who passed away recently. He was married once, but had no kids, and was very ill and couldn't live on his own. Not only is it disrespectful to say such rude things about someone who's deceased and couldn't help his situation, but to compare me to him as though it's a bad thing, and say things to make me feel like a total loser is just uncalled for. I have a very hard time coping with the fact I've been out of work for 7 months, but having a tumor wasn't something I planned.

It might seem stupid to some people but these things actually really get to me. I realize I should stick up for myself and say something back, and in a way I have. I've said I don't find it funny, and that I'm tried of hearing it, yet it continues. People have told me I should say something hurtful back, but I'm really not that type of person but I might end up doing it out of anger.

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  • Your priority should be taking care of yourself. You shouldn't have to justify anything to anyone. Your sister-in-law and the other siblings are bullys. As difficult as it may be, ignore their insensitive and negative comments. Often times, negative comments are a reflection of themselves and not you. But words still hurt. Try not to put to much power behind what they say. But maybe your sister in law could use a wake up call. It may be freeing for you to turn to her one day after she says something and tell her to f*** off and grow up. That her comments are unnecessary and unsupportive and that maybe she should think before she talks. That may just shut her up. Because it will be totally unexpected.

    Sorry about your tumor. That's scary. As for the job you left..did you quit or were you let go? You may entitled to collecting unemployment or disability, if you aren't already. Maybe speak with a labor lawyer about this...because medical leave is something different.

    For more writing/editing jobs. You are most likely familiar with these sites:, and even where you may be able to pick up some more ongoing freelance gigs. Otherwise, keep sending out those resumes, sign up with agencies..something will come along.

    Not everyone can go back to live at home, so it's nice that you can. But it's not forever, you'll move out when you're ready or ready to walk down the aisle. I'm sure your mom appreciates the help. And she's okay with it, so should everyone else. Best of luck to you!

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