I hate being a parent

I totally understand. I have 3 little ones myself. I've always been a homebody, so them being here doesn't bother me. My issue is my introversion. I can't stand HAVING to interact and having to clean up after others. My oldest is 9, so I'm fine with him. Actually, I'm very good with the littlest children and then those children aged 6 and up. Unfortunately, my 2 babies are 4 and 2. But, like everything else, this too shall pass. In my case, I found out the most annoying person in my household was the husband. Once I got rid of him, I realized he was half the problem. Now he takes the kids off my hands every other weekend, during spring break, and the month of July. Turns out marriage is great, marriage with children is the worst thing ever, and co-parenting is ** sweet.

Hang in there everyone. Those kids grow up so fast...seriously.

Man if i could get rid of my "husband" i know id be ao much happier. We parent differntltly so my kids have just become selfish brats who disrespect me just like their father. But i can not afford to go seperate ways. I am counting down till my yougest is 18 so i can be out and maybe enjoy my 50s

Omg! I had to do a retake to see if maybe, I had posted this one day, w/o realizing it. I feel the EXACT same way! I really hate feeling that I HAVE to stay, cuz if not, it will be ny fault if my youngest gets abandonment issues cuz I was selfish and left....

I resent the first one. LIke the second (2nd was planned...) I'm writting this as children I barely know play with the oldest in the basement. Can't wait for them all to leave.

Me too...and I'm the mom 😣

Yep.

Well I am not as bad as this original guys post. I do have many moments where I regret my decision to have a child. I am trying to find the joy and it can be hard at times. Do I hate my child? No I don't. Would I make a different choice had I known how much I don't like being a parent, probably. Unlike the guy above who didn't stop at 1, I made it very clear 1 child is enough. I count the days until he goes off to school.

Well you're pretty well you're pretty pathetic you should have thought about about all of that before you actually got into all of that I'm sure your kids love you so much because you make them feel like s*** so does your wife your a pathetic m***********go to ** and stay there because you don't deserve your wife and you don't deserve your kids

And then there is this guy who inevitably show up with zero empethy and the highest of holier than though spirits. Go ** yourself, pal

You idiots don't deserve any empathy. It was your own ** choice to have kids in the first place, so ** it up and raise them like a responsible adult. They don't owe you anything, stop playing victim.

Why are you on this website then you dumb **. What did you think it was about? Take your unwanted opinion elsewhere.

You are the pathetic **, attacking a person for being honest, and how in ** could a person predict they will be a miserable parent and regret the choice, until the live it, you sound angry bitter and miserable!!!

** u

Lmao wtf are you googling to get here exactly then? Hmmm. You sound like a kid who just got hit with reality of mommy and daddy not liking you too much 😂 entitled much? Maybe that's the problem. Move along maggot

Right because you totally know the true burden of parenthood before becoming a parent. ** off

You don't have to be a parent to teach, raise kids manners and how to be well behaved. Its called commonsense but for you, not so common.

I've always wanted to be a musician but now have a baby on the way. My wife doesn't seem to understand how stressed I am about money. She probably thinks that's on my shoulders now. For the parents out there, after your child was born did the father have time for his hobbies or other pursuits outside of work? When I come from my day job I like to practice and write music. Will I have to give this up?

Yep. You will be exhausted. You will have less energy for your wife and son. You will resent your wife and son, and your wife will cheat on you while you're at work.

Not necessarily. It depends in part on how you and the mother split the chores. But you'll never have as much free time as before, that's a given. It's not all or nothing, though. FInd a way.

My has and has time for all of his hobbies. Because he has laid all of the child reading to me. I've given up everything, my hobbies, my job, my friends, and he still has all of those things for himself. I gave up writing because he told me it interfered with our family time. But really he just doesn't want to be in charge of our child. In the 8 years I've been a mom and have been away from my son maybe three times. And only one of those times did he stay with our kid. I have no one where I am to watch my kid...i have no help from anyone. But I don't think you should be that kind of parent. If you share the responsibly with your partner I'd imagine parenthood isn't so bad.

I loved music turns out you can never play it with a baby around. I had to take up other hobbies that I still can't do because he won't let me

You have zero chance.... your musical dreams are destroyed. I was a producer on the up - had kids in my 40s - life over. Dreams over. Career over. A word of warning to anyone who has dreams of a career that needs endless hours of practice and improvement and focus dont have kids. Especially dont have kids if you are on the brink of something great. Finally dont have kids in your 40s - it's horrible mental torture as a man. There... I said it.

I'm a father of an 11 month old. Unfortunately, when he was 6 months old I was laid off from my job. But my wife makes enough money to be a stay at home parent. It seemed natural. When it was just me and my little dude I had plenty of time for my hobbies he just chilled with me and he talked to me, you know, like baby chatter. But then we had to get custody of my wife's 11 year old brother. I hate him. He doesn't clean up after himself. They house stays a mess because his big (16 yr old) sister will come down to visit and she and he will leave garbage everywhere. He's a smart ** and he won't leave me alone. I tried to sit down and play a video game the other day ( the first time in 3 months that the little ** has been living with us) he sat and watched and critiqued every thing I did whilst I played. I finally lost control and looked at him and told him to "go the ** away".

This caused fights between my wife and I because he also wants to rough house with me constantly. It isn't cute either, he's eleven and he will actually full force punch me in the face. It doesn't hurt because he's a weak and fat little ** but it makes me want to tear him up. I did the unthinkable yesterday. He hit me in the face and broke my glasses, my good pair. They were brand new. I hit him back he cried like a little ** but all I did was spank him. I didn't know what to do, I've never had an 11 year old before. My wife fought with me for hours. But I told her what he had done. She got onto him a little but when I went to tell him that he's grounded she stopped me and told me I wasn't allowed to do it.

Im miserable. I miss my time; I miss not being embarrassed to have my friends over. I miss the times when the kid lived with his grandma. She could put up with him some how. But she passed,and I've been struggling with that, on top of that my own grandmother passed a month after. And immediately following that my grandfather killed him self. I feel no joy anymore. I'm scared.

My husband was in bands before we married and traveled around opening. Even for big bands, we met when he was opening for the black dahlia murder. He still plays on weekends because he quit the band to pursue a full time career. Though, he still gets to enjoy it some. My brother in law plays full time in his band and music is their major income. He chose to do recording and went to school in order to stay in the feild. You can do anything as long as your willing to sacrifice

And we have 4 kids. I understand the importance of having a hobby and dont want to see my husband unhappy though. Some arent as nice as me

Same here. I first had to raise my mothers kids and then married a man who wanted kids of his own. My ENTIRE life was a waste. Im waiting for death to set me free.

God you sound like me. My mom remarried so when i was a teen i was raising her two young kids. Basically every chore belonged to me and my nights were babysitting. I joined the Army to escape and got hurt, so yeah that didnt work well. Then at 20 my depo shot failed me. Im 32 with three kids, a job a hate and i life i find to be miserable. I have no family support so no off switch. I was forced to work nights because my husband refused to try another other then his low paying comforting job. So kids all day and work till midnight. Exhausted and burnt is an understatement

I echo everything you've said. I'm 51, the girls, who are great as far as kids go, are 13 and 11. I have 7 years minimum before they are out of the house. People have always told me "enjoy this stage" as it's the best. I've always looked at them with a blank stare, not comprehending anything they are talking about. I have never experienced a good stage with kids. I've hated every single stage since they were babies. It is work, hard work but unlike a ** job where you could just quit, this is a job that no matter how much you hate it you can't quit. You spend endless time wishing for some escape but are unable to. You become a slave to this "job". Does it cause resentment? He'll ya! I resent my prior carefree life, where I could ** the world behind me afire a tough day at work, now all I have to look forward to is coming home to my "second job' as am exhausted, trying to fool myself that I am enjoying this, a Dad.
I miss the carefree tines with my wife when we could go out with no worries and do wgat we wanted, when we had friends that it wasn't an ordeal to get together with and where the conversation didn't revolve around, guess what, kids.
Unlike my life PK (prekids) when I was vibrant, full of life, funny and had tons of friends and great times on a regular basis, I feel my life is passing me by. I'm overweight now (not obese) I hardly ever laugh and I probably drink and snack too much. My relationship with my wife has changed radically. Most of conversation is about...the kids.
Well, that was at least cathartic "typing it out", lol.
Thank you for indulging my rant,
NH Dad

I don't want to have children at all because:

1. First reason is that I don't have any maternal instincts at all. I can't even take care of myself, let alone another human being that's fully dependent on me.

2. I also can't relate to kids, well, which is natural because I'm already an adult. Children's show and activities bore adults. I know children will grow up to be adults

3. I don't think I will ever be financially ready for a child. I know I am not that smart to become filthy rich. So my earning capacity is only sufficient for me. Currently, whenever I have some financial situation, it's more of an inconvenience rather than earth-shattering. Even the small dents on my income sometimes already stress me out, I can't imagine a parent's!

4. I value my freedom too much. I don't want to put myself in a situation that I can't get out from. It would suffocate me. I also love to travel and experience all this world has to offer. I don't think it's selfish. It's just a desire to experience living. I'm just passing here once and I'm going to live the heck out of it.

5. My parents, especially my dad, weren't exactly happy or ecstatic all the time just because they have us. My father was an alcoholic and was depressed, even if I only realized it looking back.

And even if my dad had three adult kids, he still passed away by himself in a hospital, as we three kids were busy with either school or work. Not exactly the romanticized idea people see in the movies where the entire family is just by the bedside all throughout. I really feel sad when I think of the life my dad had to go through to raise us and the toll it took on his physical and mental health. To think of it, we were well-behaved, intelligent, and self-sufficient kids!

(cont...)

6. When I look at the situation of my friends / former classmates who have children, 90% of them (and this is true), are really struggling. They stopped having a life of their own. They always have to think of their child's needs before their own. It's like they disappeared and all I ever see are their kids. It's also hard to invite them out or ask them to go on a vacation because their kids need them.

However, the pressure to have kids is very real and it's coming from everywhere - friends who have kids, relatives, social media, television, etc. My friends will tell me to hurry up and have a kid before 35 because pregnancy by then would be more difficult. Or I would have no family when I grow old. Or I would feel empty. But like I said, having a family (by blood) doesn't guarantee a meaningful, blissful existence. And aren't most parents posting here already admit that they feel empty?

Anyway, I'm glad people here are honest and it just cemented my decision ever since I was young not to have kids - ever.

Don't do it especially if you value freedom. ** what everyone else says. I am literally a prisoner and my life was so much better

I bet you get overly thrilled to tears when your kids are in school...summer is approaching soon. Don't forget! Still think kids need a summer break? 2 weeks seems accurate. No one else wants to deal with them except teachers and year round schools keep them lil ** fit and busy. No one cares if they stress or complain. It's life. Oh well. Try not to hurt your own lil bundles of joy. Ta!

This is from the same bitter childless person who posts again and again trying to rub it in to parents. Seems as you are angry at the world and need to pick on parents because they have what you never will.

Bitter? Me? Nahhh. You're projecting dear. I'm more overjoyed. What's there to be angry at the world for? I didn't squeeze out a lil unwanted ** and whining about it on here for something YOU have caused and must deal with. Clearly I got your attention. Did I strike a nerve? Oh well.
Thank God I don't have kids and complain and moan like you idiotic parents on here. Unlike you, I don't think "I should please society's false morality of raising kids!" Seems to me you're just over compensating on something YOU wish you had, freedom, no chain around your ankles LOL. Get some sleep darling, you might need it.😂 Then again, I'd be ** off to if I was stuck with a dependent kid I regret having...ooops.

What kind of looser trolls a site like this. Your scum.

You sound dumb asf

He's actually right - if i could go back i would never ever ever ever ever run the risk of having ** with a woman and having children.. the fact is us losers did and now we have no choice but to resort to places like this to voice regret. I wish i knew now when i was in my 20s. MGTOW 100%, no kids, id be financially secure on my own and happy.

You just proved me right then. It's ok, you ruin your own life. I'd be livid as well. No freedom, privacy, peaceful sleeps, ahhhhh😌

Op!!! Found one!!!☝️

You sound so ignorant, considering not all people want kids, A lot of people don't envy that lifestyle...Hate to break it to you.....

You are not the only one. thanks for your truth. mostly, thanks for making me feel human and not alone. thanks for sharing your story #wishihadthatcourage

Your not the only one

I came here cause I felt like a bad mom not wanting to deal with being a parent all the time. But oh my god. Some people on here are truly frightening. Killing yourself, wishing you'd got an abortion, regretting your whole life???? Jesus Christ people. They're just kids. Stop thinking about yourself so much. They didn't ask to be here and they didn't ask to have parents who don't want them. And trust me when they are older they will hate you. You know when your parent regrets having you. You always know. No wonder all your kids are so hard to live with. Having y'all for parents would make me wanna be an ** too. Stop being so ** horrible.

Wow lady. Go pat yourself on the back somewhere else for liking parenthood. This is obviously meant to be a safe place for People to vent not feel worse about how they already feel. I'm a therapist and feelings are very real. Just because you have a higher tolerance for children don't come here judging and parading your ability to cope with others who can't. And you can't hate being parents and still be wonderful so to assume they're kids will hate them is an absolute ** statement by you. Hope you feel better about yourself.

First of all if you read this post and disagreed why did you even comment.? Why not just ignore it? How'd you find this website? Did you have the same problem and are tryna cover it up because I don't see the point of your comment? Are you a bully? What type of mother are you if you're a bully? Because children learn that from adults most likely their parents because they FEEL bullied. Are you're comfortable bullying someone else for not being able to control their feelings and genuinely seeking help or an opinion? Speaking of bullies they hurt ppl! Sometimes thems elves or others so if you have a child guess whose the real bad parent **. And guess who better hope their child isn't on the verge of killing their self or someone else. YOU ** your the bad mom. Her reaching out for help shows her love for her children. You on the Internet downplaying peoples problems? Where are your kids located while your too busy bullying a real mom whose looking for help in her very spare time, but you apparently have plenty of time on your hands get off confession post and go teach your kids from the PATHETIC example of a person your setting. Sincerely the bully who was bullied and checks the bullies.

Well someone hasn't gotten any sleep. So full of hatred...someone is projecting. "I LOVE MY KIDS ILL KILL YOUUUUU😡🔪🔪🔪" yeah this is a case of a parent that hates her kids but proves to people she'll die for them. What an awesome parent...👏

I've been having a difficult time lately with my strong-willed almost four year old. I was looking for some empathy online in reading posts from other parents dealing with the same sort of feelings, but most of the stuff I've read on here is just awful. Never do I wish my children weren't born. Never do I want to die. Never do I regret my husband or the life we have made together.

Sure, it would be nice if we had a lot more money and could do more and make life a little easier with hiring someone to clean or do the yard work. It would be nice if we could afford to send our daughter to an all day preschool. It would be awesome if we could afford to send her to do activities to keep her boredom at bay. I can't get mad at my husband for not making more money. He works hard to support our family. He is a loving, supportive, wonderful person and I am lucky to be married to him and our children are lucky to have him as their father.

I fault myself, not my children, for my lack of patience. I try very hard to be a good mother. Sometimes I feel like I am doing a great job, but there are a lot of times I feel like a failure. There are many days when my temper gets the best of me way too quickly. I would never hurt my children, but sometimes I worry that my raising my voice so often and losing my temper so frequently will hurt my relationship with them. To me, it feels like Mama is mean and Daddy is fun. Even though I know that I do nice things for them and do fun things with them (on a daily basis), it still feels like they only remember the bad/mean things (getting upset when they misbehave, don't listen, mind or clean up their messes).

Do I miss life before children? Absolutely - sometimes. I love my children, though. They bring joy and laughter into my life. Sometimes I just watch them when they aren't paying attention to me and I'm so in awe of this little tiny person that I partially created and it brings tears to my eyes. I love them. I would do anything for them.

Why are you posting on this website then you vacuous loon? Go find another site where people with nothing else in their lives chat inane rubbish about the joys of parenting.

I'm happy for you. Truly. Must be amazing living a life surrounded by magical unicorns where everything is just swell.

I understand and feel this way often. In western society we parent in a vacuum with little help and support. I've found it to be lonely and isolating. The friends I grew up with are in another state. I've lived in my current state for 10 years but have trouble making friends. I don't have family who can help out or deflect the energy. I can understand why people end up getting desperate and doing irreversible things. It's hard. Kids are essentially little mental patients. I find it's best to be around them as little as possible and if you can afford it have them in a sport or something.