Married Woman, 22, craves multiple lovers
From 8 to 22, I have hungered for multiple lovers in one session. Honestly speaking, mentally I am a completely polyamorous nymphomaniac but interestingly enough I married a very monogamous man just after turning 21. Strangely my passion does not feel bridled.
You see I am also a skilled artist with many talented friends. My art enables me to exchange my work with composers abroad. Indeed it is a very pleasurable activity. In fact these musical connections are so pleasurable that I have chosen to regard them as loveless romances.
I often think about these things in silent moments. Those wild moments of solitude where I allow the notes of another to completely enrapture my senses and ravish my body. I am always ready to submit to every raw emotion a musician may decide to inflict with the subtle turn of their wrist or fingers. Though I have always listened to music in ways that make my heart race... As an an adult woman with an enormous capacity for passion the listening experience I described has grown beyond arousing in a most fragile way.
My adaptation to a monogamous marriage would never be fully understood by my husband. Nor would my actions be rightfully acknowledged but observed as "sinful" feelings to abolish. Though I have no intention of marring the purity of our union to fulfill my hunger... I willingly admit I was too young to realize the definition of what it is to be married to one partner.
Still a deeper confession is my wish to explore the limits of my sexual hunger alongside my husband as partners. These wishes will never be answered with approval and encouragement. If he were to sever our ties because of my emotionally challenging fantasies, I would never forgive myself for hurting him so.
I simply hope he chooses to believe that I have surrendered my all to him and serve him dutifully as a wife can. Even if I was confronted about these most personal feelings I could never alter my way of thinking. I was born one way and I have adapted to living another way. My controlled explorations of passion through the art of sound will be my only relief but I will hope for a chance to physically engage with other men and women if the opportunity was honestly presented to me.